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Coyote Ugly

Contributed by Stoney1 on Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 06:17:52 AM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry

He sashayed into the bar
all lean and cool
and ordered a jar
as he plopped on a stool

"Either buy a drink
or get on yer bike"
"Give me time to think,"
the patron replied

"A shot of whiskey
Is what I'll take,
It makes me frisky
so ya better talk nice
for yer very own sake"

The fella turned
and eyeballed the room
checkin' out the talent
that he'd be takin' home soon

There was nothing fancy
that caught his eye
tho' he was feeling kinda ansty
he kept sippin' on his rye

And bided his time
as the clock ticked on,
he was in his prime
sporting a large **** h*rd-on

On his seventh drink
this horny young fellow
found it hard to think;
he was gettin' kinda mellow

Over in the back booth
was a solitary lass
with a missing front tooth
and a big fat ***

The dude sauntered
over to the booth,
as Marie pondered
this guy with no couth

He jutted out his hips
to profile his ****,
as he eyed her ****,
she eyed his crotch

It was a match made in heaven
any fool could see
He easily had seven
and she was in need

They repaired to her room
just a few blocks down,
they'd be at it soon
and they'd do it up brown

After some drunken passion
they both fell asleep
Marie'd had her ration
Of this soused up creep

Around 6 a.m. the gent began to stir
He looked around the room
til he got a load of her,
idly wondering where
she'd parked her broom

Then he paled
at what he saw
and he tried not to move
as he gazed at her maw
and her monstrous groove

He had ta get out
'cus she'd awaken soon,
so he glanced about;
he knew it was himself
he'd have'ta prune

'cus she was layin'
across his arm
so's he couldn't move
without buyin' the farm,

So he hatched a plan
to break himself free;
this poor, desperate man,
He was kinda gutsy

As you will soon discern,
the gent leaned toward Marie,
and gnawed at his arm
'till he became an amputee

Quietly,
he slid off the bed
leaving her pillow
on his limb so dead

Thus lies the fate,
and it applies doubly
When you chance to mate
with a Coyote Ugly

Stoney

Copyright © Stoney1 ... [ 2004-07-13 06:17:52]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Coyote Ugly (User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 06:24:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow stoney me mate this is funny and i loved it! thanks for sharin such a great write.

much love and hugs
gen xx

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