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Pretty mass destruction
Contributed by
Ami_and_me
on
Friday, 25th October 2002 @ 11:15:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
She rode here oblivious,
Sailing ignorantly,
Somewhere between the bliss and despair of her distortion inducing world.
They could never understand,
For she had locked up the secret
Long ago,
In a heavy safe
And threw it over the edge of oblivion
With a length of chain joining it to the shackle round her leg.
Kneeling naked – but for a crude gown of sin – before it,
The illness that constructed her,
The illness that is toying with her,
Picking her apart piece by piece,
As if she’s no more than a worn out Barbie doll.
She barters with it.
Pleads.
Slashed arms outstretched,
Raised up in a pathetic show of defeat.
Pain is the only friend she remembers.
Pain fills her day with agonising distractions,
And after whispering disturbed lullabies in her ear,
Pain fills the insomniac moments of her sleep with childrens’ fairytale nightmares.
The doctors put her on medication,
To help her rattle through the hours of therapy guess-work,
But there’s nothing to talk about.
Wakey, wakey sleepy head,
She just wants to stay in bead.
Wakey, wakey sleepy head,
Don’t forget, you’re nearly dead.
She’s buried under the chemical relief,
A holographic safety net
Save the pill from getting swallowed,
Hidden beneath the tongue,
Spit it out in solitary company,
And stash away for safe-keeping.
The downwards spiral accelerates,
Pausing only to scream and choke.
Down.
Unfair justice,
Tidy mess,
Lying, trust in
Calm distress.
Her mind frames the beauty in a train crash.
Her ears hear the sweet song in desperate crying,
Her thirst is quenched by painful tears of the upset
Cut of from the reality that she came to hate.
She grew up and didn’t like it anymore.
Making sure no one crosses her boundries.
Frantic hiding,
Warm despair,
Not deciding,
Violent stare.
She sent the nurses running, she did.
She thought that maybe all her meds in one go could cure her,
For ever.
They could,
But not in the conventional way.
She understood her logic even if they didn’t.
Now she’s motionless, listening in on all the mechanical conversations
And the regular dripping.
Drip, drip, drip.
She didn’t want her stomach pumped.
Drip, drip, drip.
She’d hoped to kill that nurse she’d thumped.
Drip, drip, drip.
Unwelcome saline in her arm.
Drip, drip, drip.
Couldn’t they see she like this harm?
Drip, drip, drip.
Dumb student nurse stood by her side.
Drip, drip, drip.
She could easily fool her if she tried.
Drip, drip, drip..
What the hell got in the way?
Drip, drip, drip.
God damn the nurse who made her stay.
Drip, drip, drip.
Wire cutters slash her chain of thought,
Drip, drip, drip.
She’s sucked back through each war she’s fought.
Drip, drip, drip.
Reverting inwards to backwards mind
Drip, drip, drip.
Try to leave the world behind.
Drip, drip, drip.
No use in her frustration
Drip, drip, drip.
No need for dark salvation.
Drip, drip, drip.
Drip, drip, drip.
Slowly drift away
To dream each day
Of pretty mass destruction.
Copyright ©
Ami_and_me
... [
2002-10-25 11:15:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pretty mass destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ash on
Monday, 16th December 2002 @ 12:51:52 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This poem has left me awestricken. i can identify and empathize with it so much. It's beautiful, I love it. Please, keep writing, I look forward to your next work. |
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Re: Pretty mass destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfflow on
Saturday, 4th January 2003 @ 08:23:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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awesome is right, you got the despair right on the button, the horrible repetitive immotion of the hospital bed, different circumstances but i pulled the ivs out of my arm, had enough, you got right in there and so eloquently, big love to you, hang in there, it gets better, and when it does you will be amazed, massive poem
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Re: Pretty mass destruction
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 4th January 2003 @ 08:33:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Dearest Ami & me @-<-<<-
this is a beautuful and wonderful piece..
"Frantic hiding,
Warm despair,
Not deciding,
Violent stare"
says it all...
hehe really liked the "wakey wakey sleepie head"
(don't you hate when they do that?!) perfect title...
can truely identify with the whole poem; which btw I deeply loved..
Your writing friend always Nessa |
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