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Overextended
Contributed by
Genius
on
Sunday, 11th July 2004 @ 12:50:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
This democracy slash hipocracy got the best of me temptin me ,
On the steps of the Golden Gates so relentlessly blessin me,
All these people keep testin me , My employers investin me in deception,
Perceptions to keep a vest with me.
It doesn't matter that I don't use it.
I put my heart in this music.
This is my life and I'm the only one thats ever been through it.
I give up without resistence, It seems death is my sentence.
My soul is like a black hole engulfing my essence.
Why is this the path that I've chosen , To be eternally frozen
Never to thaw only pain and erosion. My minds explosion, manifests its self in my dreams.
Its seems to me that deeds of richeousness just what I needed
Now I'm depleted, Although this passage isn't completed It can never end like my struggle
My life has new meaning. And with a strange twist the entire world was pretended
Just like this story with no purpose. Is overextended.
Copyright ©
Genius
... [
2004-07-11 00:50:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Overextended
(User Rating: 1 )
by frohemiasweetie on
Sunday, 11th July 2004 @ 12:53:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love the way that this poem rhymes. Beautiful. I like this. |
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Re: Overextended
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Sunday, 11th July 2004 @ 01:07:56 AM AEST
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| Thought-provoking piece...the rhythm flows very nicely, although I would suggest that you have some line breaks, but overall this makes for a great poem. |
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Re: Overextended
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 11th July 2004 @ 04:58:58 AM AEST
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| I wrote a poem called "Walk through the fire that is the oppsite view read it and tell me what you think. |
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Re: Overextended
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th July 2004 @ 05:51:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Interesting flow. It reminds me of an eminem rap in its rhythm, although not in substance, obviously . . .
Well done, and welcome to YPDC. |
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