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Oasis
Contributed by
Avarice_Riot
on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 09:18:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Freeze me
I'm slipping unseen through the night
The ice screams apart
Invisible fragments of me
seep through.
No wintry spears register in my senses
No frigid teeth bite into my skin
It terrifies me.
When you douse yourself in vice
and axe away your innocence,
All that you know
Shrouds you into glutinous blindness
That's when you are me, and when you are
You won't forget to join me
in my oasis, will you?
There's so much room here
to adorn yourself with numbness
There's too much time here
to embrace the feel of nothing
And oh, I love I loathe I curse
the gaping recess in me
How did I mislead myself
to come so undone?
Mask it so beautifully
with golden smiles
That you will know how hollow
the world looks from my place
in this oasis
in this oasis;
Where there's so much room to cry.
Copyright ©
Avarice_Riot
... [
2004-07-10 09:18:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Oasis
(User Rating: 1 )
by OMEGA_ on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 09:22:50 AM AEST
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so so so great i love the way you ise your expressions..
amazing and i can't taste your dark and mystrious touch even in that emotional poem;) |
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Re: Oasis
(User Rating: 1 )
by mdmorash on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 09:49:09 AM AEST
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| Brilliant imagry. Fantastic flow. Your writting is gripping. |
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Re: Oasis
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 12:52:04 PM AEST
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"When you douse yourself in vice and axe away your innocence, All that you know
Shrouds you into glutinous blindness".
Yet you are the only one that can change this. Your life decisions make your life what it is. This is a great description of unwise choices in life and the repercussions.
Rita
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Re: Oasis
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 03:49:45 PM AEST
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This poem has an emotional crescendo, which culminates magnificently at the end. The descriptions used are very detailed and original, and it's effortless to visualize it all. And aside from the lack of line breaks, this poem is practically flawless. Excellent write!
Assaulted with a broken coke bottle,
-V.S. |
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Re: Oasis
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Sunday, 11th July 2004 @ 10:31:30 PM AEST
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Vivid images flowing amazingly well.
Great write. |
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Re: Oasis
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 02:01:11 AM AEST
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| Wow..it is astounding...emotional and very touching. venkat |
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Re: Oasis
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Friday, 16th July 2004 @ 10:26:20 AM AEST
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in this oasis;
Where there's so much room to cry
those were great, great lines. i had to read this over cuz it was just so amazing. packed with deep emotion and great sadness. by far of the best poems i have read in a while.
i loved this.
you have such great talent.
Arden |
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