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Loyalty (Lee-Smith)

Contributed by Beadle on Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 10:07:40 PM in AEST
Topic: SongLyrics

Come,
Speak to me,
When you know the meaning of,
Loyalty,
You,
Said to me,
I’ll end up,
A very lonely man,
But,
You’re oh so wrong,
It’s about quality,
Not quantity,
Do,
You know,
The meaning of,
Friendship?
I,
Was begging you,
To change your,
Two-faced ways,
I,
Understand,
The meaning of,
Divided loyalty,
But,
You put,
Everyone,
Before me,
You,
May have loved me once,
But certainly,
Not now,
The,
Truth it hurts,
I’m just tryna,
Even the score,
I,
Was more of a,
Friend to you,
Than you were to me,
You’re,
Too into yourself,
To,
Even care,
I,
Took your picture off my wall,
Screwed it up,
And threw it in the bin,
I,
Burnt the song,
I,
Wrote for you,
Thanks,
For nothing,
I could only take,
So much,
But this,
I cannot take,
Please,
Explain to me,
How you can be friends with,
My enemy,
Do,
You really wanna be friends,
With someone who sez,
“I don’t apologise”?

Copyright Â© Beadle ... [ 2004-07-08 22:07:40]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Loyalty (Lee-Smith) (User Rating: 1 )
by lp15 on Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 10:13:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

to be completely honest, i didn't like it, at least not the way it was presented. The punctuation is a distraction; I cant concentrate on the message when the punctuation makes the poem sound all choppy, because thats what its doing. When I read the poem, my first thought was "what did I just read?" I had to go through the poem 3 or more times to get past the choppy-ness of it. But, once I stopped paying attention to the commas, I liked it. It has a good message, just not a good presentation. Basically, I like the poem in itself, but not when its all chopped up like it is.

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