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The begger

Contributed by DeathByLove on Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 02:22:05 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

I feel stupid, blood is dripping down onto my shirt. I feel it slowly soaking in. My head feels heavy, but I fear to sleep. If I shall sleep, people will beat,rape,and murder my worn self. Death sounds better than anything now. I take a sharp object, and feel it go through my skin.

Copyright © DeathByLove ... [ 2004-07-08 14:22:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The begger (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 07:15:04 PM AEST
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hey, ive read your writing and i think its quite, good, its go potential, but i just got afew tips. 1stly, u dont have to rhyme. i think personally, rhyme can take away seriousness from a poem unless done very well. i cant do it, so i rarely try. 2nd of all, arrange ur poems into proper lines, rather than continious writing, it makes the more easy to handle, and enhances the meaning of the words. and otherwise keep goin =)

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