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Never Mother Stranger
Contributed by
theraven
on
Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 02:52:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
All my life, I’ve hidden them inside,
But now the well is overflowing
With feelings, words bouncing around
Beneath my skull is going to collapse.
No longer a child, so don’t put words in
My mouth you don’t feed anymore.
You opened the door yourself, so
Accept the consequences; the only
Thing you have to blame me for
Is shutting it in your face.
Talk about evil, your vice, it weighs
You down; I never asked for much,
You love would have sufficed.
-The Raven-
Copyright ©
theraven
... [
2004-07-08 02:52:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Never Mother Stranger
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gentledove on
Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 03:55:25 AM AEST
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I can totally relate. My mother and I don't see eye to eye.
Gentledove |
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Re: Never Mother Stranger
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 07:49:15 AM AEST
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You opened the door yourself, so
Accept the consequences; the only
Thing you have to blame me for
Is shutting it in your face.
This was great -
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Re: Never Mother Stranger
(User Rating: 1 )
by Psyche on
Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 07:52:19 AM AEST
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The voice of this poem expresses such anger, appropriate for the unrequited love from a parent! I empathize with that anger - but would love for you free the empathetic reader/ your voice as the poem seems to promise in the beginning. The anger kept "inside" for so long - is now free and "overflowing. I feel as though you continue to give the mother power by ending it with accusations against her (where she so obviously failed your voice), rather than taking back the power she stole from you. Take it back, Raven - end it with your triumph of cutting lose, even if that freedom gives birth to more anguish and frustration, because NOW it belongs to you, as you stated in the opening!
Sorry - I don't normally make a suggestion to *change* anything about one's poetry - but I feel you have written something very *real* - here, that on some level, so many of us can relate to! I feel your voice in the pit of my gut - and with poetry, I think that's really the point! GREAT job!! 5 stars from me! |
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Re: Never Mother Stranger
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 11:02:16 PM AEST
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| Whenever I see the name Raven, I stop and read..it's my grandaughter's name. Hers is spelled Raeven..but she trys to disguise herself..LOL. anyway..lots of feeling in this poem. She's your age, she's filled with anger and most of it at me and her dad..her mom's done a world of caca too..but she always takes her mom's side..and that's great I guess..My heart is so hurt right now..'cause she wished me dead..but I love her anyway..so I always look at every Raven...good job. |
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