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Unclassified Delusions
Contributed by
code
on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 01:56:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Once again I bide my time, in my mind
And there you sit, two steps behind
The landscape portrayed in a color blind haze
Yet I can't move, you've lost your gaze
I see your eyes as you trace the wall
I see my hand shake and scrawl
The words to this phrase that make sense
Buried the illusion with all the pretense
Straight as an arrow and the target you have become
I've missed the mark threads come undone
What more can I say, I blew it away
Watched you unglue, tumble and fray
So now I'm alone, Injured and prone
Hoping a tear falls for the joys I've know
The clock on the wall says I must fall
In the dark, your all I can recall.
Copyright ©
code
... [
2004-07-06 13:56:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Unclassified Delusions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 02:06:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I liked the rhyme and flow of it.
Nicely done.
I think the story behind it would be interesting as well. |
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Re: Unclassified Delusions
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 02:33:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i really like how you wrote this, it all flows together and its great!, awesome job |
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Re: Unclassified Delusions
(User Rating: 1 )
by _Raspberry_ on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 04:14:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think the best poetry is that which sucks you in, and in your words, I felt like you were talking to me, like you could have been one of my friends missing me, who let me go through a hard time....WOW Very touching write |
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Re: Unclassified Delusions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kirby on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 09:23:27 PM AEST
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| This was a terrific poem. One of the best that I have read in awhile. I can relate to this. Great write. keep em up! Love::::kirby |
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