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Fall
Contributed by
MoonlitAngel
on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 09:59:26 AM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
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I watch the good times fall away
And wonder what it's like inside your mind
I feel there's nothing left to say
It's not really a place I wanna find
Myself; I'd scream away
Until I fell away
So why are you afraid to fall?
If you'd cry
I'd hold you till it goes away
I'd paint rainbows in your eyes
And reminisce on yesterday
Until you smile
With nothing left to kiss away
We'd watch the stars for awhile
And I'd still kiss you anyway
I feel the memories wash away
And wonder what happened to happiness
I'm sure I'll fall along the way
Alone I stumble, blind and aimless
Tripping; I've lost my way
I'm succumbing to pain
So why do you refuse to fall?
If you'd scream
I'd soothe you till it melts away
Protect you from the demons
That haunt you as your mind decays
Until you sleep
And dream of me in verdant fields
In your soul, my heart I steep
Till burning fires of love I wield
I feel you push me off and away
And wonder what the hell happened to us
I think of all the useless ways
I could pull my tired body back up
But if I dared look down
I'd fall and I would drown
So why should I even bother?
If you'd cry
I'd love your eyes dry
If you'd scream
I'd turn nightmares to dreams
But you don't
Or you won't
So I can't
And god, it hurts to know that
But you stare me down with eyes of stone
And your silence is an endless drone
So I'll let it go and fly away
But who knows till when or why I'll stay
And who will catch me when I fall?
Copyright ©
MoonlitAngel
... [
2004-07-06 09:59:26] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Black13 on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 10:12:19 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Dee, this is still one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read. I'm now torn between this one and 'Echoes of You'.
You know everything I have to say about this poem.
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Bones on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 10:14:37 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Awesoem poem! I really loved this one. And to those of you who think all I put for comments are always talking about how much I liked the poem and not what I didn't like about the poem....the reason why i always say i like the poem on every comment is because there's not one poem I've read on this site that I didn't like. ^.^ 4/5 |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 10:27:30 AM AEST (User
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Ok, you've made my face crumple up. I just need a good cry. I understand this. That failure to connect...like nothing you can do is good enough...or will reach the core. There's a wall you can't break or scale. You have communicated the desolation and futility with beauty.
Stitch |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Monkeybones99 on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 10:29:47 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Again I want to say what good poetry you write....I really could feel the pain behind this one. |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 10:35:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Nothing i could ever say could do this poem justice.
This is beautiful Dee, and so sad.
Change is one of the hardest things of all in my mind.
*hugs you*
Perfect.
Phil xxx
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 10:39:31 AM AEST (User
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Moonlit, this is extremely well written and so beautiful. You have expressed your emotions with such clarity.....
Hugs ya..
Jenni |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by gery_giggles on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 12:41:09 PM AEST (User
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*sniffle* i feel like this right now!....got me crying,i can realte to this so well its scary...great write by the way
luv always |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 02:39:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Love and relationships can be so hard. Some of us want to work on them and some just throw them away and look for a fresh clean start like the old one never existed. I don't quite understand how you just quit caring or loving someone and can let go so easy, but then that is not my style. I wish you peace and serenity to figure it all out and make it over the emotional hurdles, Dee. You penned your pain so well here. My heart goes out to you.
Rita
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 05:34:29 PM AEST (User
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Oh, Dee... what an amazing, beautiful voice you have! I know this feeling... when you're screaming inside - God, it's incredibly overwhelming.... even more so when comparing it to the silence that seems to exist in and from another. I echo Jarred's comments on the stanza beginning with "If you'd cry". You absolutely tore me wide open....
But you don't
Or you won't
So I can't
And god, it hurts to know that
.... that is.... hell - I don't even have words enough. You blew me away. And the last line of the poem absolutely clinched it. It is a phenominally powerful question. It's answer will come... I feel rather obnoxious saying that, because I truly don't mean to dismiss or diminish what you've done here - but I do think it's true.
Amazed by you,
SNM
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by TheReturnOfx7 on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 01:10:25 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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simply amazing....I heard majestic orcestration as I read this piece.........by far you best ever....
and you know how much I love your work
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by ShadowDaughter on
Friday, 9th July 2004 @ 11:24:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Until today, I thought that Never Meant To was your best ever poem, not to mention one of my personal favorite poems on all of YPDC.
It's still one of my personal favorite YPDC poems, but it's been demoted to the title of "Dee's second best ever poem" as of now. This is one of the most beautiful things ever yet penned on YPDC and I find myself irritated, as I say that, because the title seems so petty, doesn't do it justice enough, that it only detracts from the poem.
There are so many lines I could pick out as favorites that I won't choose any.
always here if ever you need me to be,
Nora |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 05:31:03 PM AEST (User
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*realizes something* Ack! When I say the title irritated me, I meant the title of "Dee's best poem" or whatever it was, not the poem's title . . . lol.
Still love it.
--Nora |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by blueheart on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 10:12:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Moonlit, this is brilliant. Honestly it really is. Each and every single word impacted me so much ,the If you'd cry stanza has got to be the most awesome thing I've read. What a wonderful concept, what beautiful emotions. Definitely best poem for the day. |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by ShadowDaughter on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 04:18:56 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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In light of, ah, a recent new perspective and recent developments, I just had to come back and reread this.
This is going to come out sounding absolutely awful, I know it, but there's a part of me that hates this poem with a passion and I think you know why.
It's also one of the best poems you've ever written, one of the most well-written of all time about this particular topic, and I've --sadly enough, lol-- pretty much got it memorized by now.
I hate and love this poem so much . . . it's amazing, Dee. *hugs*
love always,
Nora |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by afraid_of_fear on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 06:35:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is so beautiful.. i love it..
charlotte xxx |
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Re: Fall
(User Rating: 1 ) by V-I on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 04:01:44 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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It seems as though, every time I read
another piece from you, I grow more
and more attached to your work.
bravo.
V-I |
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