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next year
Contributed by
rain
on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 02:24:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
Event
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Im getting married next year
towards the end of may
when flowers bloom
and doves sing
im getting married next year
it seems so far away
but grows closer
with each passing day
im getting married next year
on the day we meet
there are so many things to do
so many things to make
im getting married next year
although im nervous
i cant wait cus hes the one
that owns my heart.
Copyright ©
rain
... [
2004-07-06 02:24:39] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: next year
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 03:31:34 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*cries* This is not what i should be reading right now....
Anyway, this is really good, I like it very much, stick with it. |
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Re: next year
(User Rating: 1 ) by Psyche on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 10:51:36 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You tie in the first half of the last stanza nicely with the earlier comment about it growing closer. This helps me to feel your "nervousness."
Perhaps you could add a stanza in the poem to help the reader understand the last half of the last stanze, about why he owns your heart, or why you feel this way about him.
I enjoyed the poem, made me feel "excitedly nervous" for a momwnt of reading. However, I don't know a great deal about poetry - just learning myself... so you may do well to dismiss me! Good Luck! |
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