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Dream
Contributed by
skelington
on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 09:30:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
My head will not rest on this pillow, you're gripped in my arms tonight. Like reality, too tight. And if a dream could last forever, I would hold you here, time need not freeze, I need not fear. This world we find inside, is a world that is yours and mine. and I won't be afraid of love, I will not be afraid to lose, what I onve deprived myself of.
My teardrops have salt staind this pillow loosened from my weakend clutch. By the sun's light, too much. But I have hope today, that I'll find a way, to make my dream a reality.
Sometimes I run, and sometimes I crawl.
Sometimes I fly, and sometimes I fall. But this dream of mine won't change at all.
Copyright ©
skelington
... [
2004-07-05 21:30:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 03:38:45 AM AEST
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"Sometimes I run, and sometimes I crawl.
Sometimes I fly, and sometimes I fall. But this dream of mine won't change at all."
I really like that. You've captured an essence of your dream that is unique and particular to you, but also resonant with other people, like me.
You may well be better off with separation into distinct stanzas, but I believe it works well enough in sentence format, as it lends to the feel of you having 'just wrote it'.
Thanks for 'just writing it'. Keep 'just writing' things - you'll do more good than harm. |
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Re: Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by SwEeTpOeT288 on
Saturday, 31st July 2004 @ 09:52:32 PM AEST
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| Awesome Poem!! i do that sometimes.. write poems about my dreams... don't u jst wish they were all reality?! hehe gr8 job! |
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