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STREIGHT
Contributed by
RICHARD_CAMPBELL
on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 07:02:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
Strengthen by faith white light
switch like a fight
nail hard who'S bad
o its so sad
when we don't know who we really are.
powerfull,fearless,strong,confirdence
should i go on
wise, conqueror,overcomer heal and save
what more can i say.
deliever out of darkness have your way LORD.
what more can i say but have your way LORD.
FAITH IS AN OPEN DOOR TO ALL WHO BELIEVE.
Copyright ©
RICHARD_CAMPBELL
... [
2004-07-05 07:02:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: STREIGHT
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 07:50:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Amen. Love the line about "nail hard."
Stitch |
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Re: STREIGHT
(User Rating: 1 )
by Justalady on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 08:19:19 AM AEST
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FAITH IS AN OPEN DOOR TO ALL WHO BELIEVE.
Indeed it is... thanks for the reminder. June |
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Re: STREIGHT
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 08:39:32 AM AEST
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This has a number of spelling mistakes, including
the title, which you may want to address, and the
syntax is a tad shaky also.
You'd probably want to do some editing to trim the
superfluous words and tighten it up.
It's also somewhat obscure in its intention. I would
switch the poem to 1st person right off the bat since
you ended up talking in the 1st person anyway.
Your idea to make it a prayer is great!
I've incorporated a few suggestions into a re-write to
give you an idea on how to tighten it up a bit.
I seek to strengthen my faith
through prayer's white light,
I will remain nail hard
and set myself against
those who are evil,
For, if we don't know who we are,
powerful, conquerors, overcoming obstacles
to heal and save ourselves for the Lord,
Allowing Him to deliver
us out of darkness,
Then we would deny that our faith
is an open door for all
who put their trust in God
Just keep in mind, if you're going to be talking
to the Big Fellah upstairs; you have to be succinct.
He's a busy guy and he doesn't have time for
shilly-shallying.*g*
Stoney |
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