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A Broken Dream
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 12:28:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
I’ve become expert in the science of pain
For I am broken, scarred and stained
No matter what I may think or do
My mind returns to thoughts of you
A teardrop away from falling apart
I cannot deny
My
Wounded
Heart
I’ve tried telling myself that I’ll be fine
But the path’s unclear, a dotted line
The hills get higher and valleys fall
I fail in attempts to overcome it all
With each step taken the fear has grown
I hate that
I’m
Traveling
Alone
I’ve become useless to any other soul
I’ve proven that and it’s getting old
Unable to get back what is now gone
I accept it but still can’t move on
I am in love alone - and it seems
I’m lost in
A
Broken
Dream
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-07-04 00:28:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 12:33:58 AM AEST
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awww, "i am in love alone"...even in sadness you have written a beautiful poem, my heart goes out to you, big hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 12:59:18 AM AEST
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I am sorry you are in such pain. I wish I could fix it for you. I can only say from experience that it will eventually ease and life will start again. It will never be perfect, but it will be better than now.
Hugs,
Rita |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 01:00:23 AM AEST
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I have to say that this is by far the most excellent piece I've read in days.
Though I am so sorry for your emptiness,I must give a "hip hoorah" for such a fantastically penned masterpiece.
Peace be with you and may the ~Great Spirit~ hold your hand as you find your path
LW
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 01:04:31 AM AEST
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Beautiful! Also very sad. I hope you find a light for your days that will remain. And keep this up! Excellent piece.
Andrew |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Soulless on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 02:02:18 AM AEST
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what a tragic yet touching piece. I really enjoyed the heart put into that, as well as the perfect rythme and rhyme in each stanza.
Beautiful
Kisses,
~Soulless~ |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by behind_green_eyes on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 03:24:39 AM AEST
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I've been there!!! I hope that you find your way through the hurt and realize that you will have other dreams ;)
This is a GREAT write! Definitely the best I've read during my "lurking" time here at your-poetry.com. You have a way of saying exactly what you feel that is superb! Keep it up! Great work!
^_^ ...Cat... ^_^ |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 05:57:56 AM AEST
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'A teardrop away from falling apart
I cannot deny My Wounded Heart'
'I am in love alone - and it seems
I’m lost in A Broken Dream.'
I love these two sentences, the imply so much in their meaning, this write is an example to all emotional poetry of show to show pure emotion in your writing through the use of nice metaphors
Together with your general poetic prowess this is a write to rant and rave about till the hills come alive with the sounds of screaming
Oh and in the comment you left, asking me if its about love, the answer is yes, though its not from experience, just mere poetic ramblings
Luke
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 06:00:40 AM AEST
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very sad write, but you spoke of your pain with great expression,
pixie xx |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 06:01:18 PM AEST
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I stand by Rita on this one. I wish I could fix you too. It's okay. You know we all love you, right?
"A teardrop away from falling apart"
"But the path’s unclear, a dotted line"
"I am in love alone - and it seems
I’m lost in
A
Broken
Dream"
Who couldn't love someone who feels so much, so deeply, so sensitively and also one who writes with such profound beauty? The beauty in the writing only shows the beauty within you...which must shine outward somewhere, you know. Don't be so sad, sweetheart.
**HUGS**
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by babygirl2004 on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 08:52:26 PM AEST
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first i want to thank u for ur comments and i want to say that i understand i to have felt all alone and all i can say is there will come a day that u will find that special someone to be there with u and when that happens you will look back at all the time s thaat u hurt and see that it was to get u were u are now good luck
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 11:15:17 PM AEST
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| Yeah it is ironic how the poem surfaced on your nations Independence Day. Well I hope you feel better. The poem said a lot about your emotions and thoughts. Hope you get through this tough period in time. |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 09:00:53 AM AEST
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You pain that comes out of the words is artfully done.
Very well written.
I wish for you happiness and relief from your sorrow. |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Steven on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 04:19:46 PM AEST
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| i love it. i love how you are able to put the perfect number of syllables in to make it flow well, a lot of people have trouble with that, but u did it extrememly well. great work and great expression. i hope your pain will ease. |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 08:31:04 PM AEST
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i felt as though i was reading my own feelings. i can so relate to this. i know your pain.
this was an amazing write. i just love the rhyming sham. so beautifully written. so deep and full of raw sad emotion. this is by far one of the best poems i have read today.
i loved it.
5 stars.
Arden |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 04:45:38 AM AEST
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A teardrop away from falling apart
I cannot deny
My
Wounded
Heart
Need i say more? excellent.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 08:08:13 AM AEST
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I stand by Chelsea bun. We all love you.
And you are not useless.
I stand by Rita too. I wish i coould help.
Just know that we are always here for you.
Such sadness and beauty in this poem.
I love the style too.
Great write.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 02:31:20 AM AEST
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Rhyme and loneliness---an interesting combination. So much sadness here.
Strong write.
Stitch |
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Re: A Broken Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 01:47:28 AM AEST
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| You really are the poet's poet. |
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