|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Sex Machine
Contributed by
Butterat_Zool
on
Tuesday, 16th July 2002 @ 10:10:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
The jack punches out units
day after day.
The units are used
and then thrown away.
They aren’t reused or recycled,
just destroyed,
throw faster and faster
into the dark void.
As units get worn
or made obsolete,
the rate that the jack
throws them out is raised,
And after a while, the jack
becomes worn
the units, made sloppy
break.
The geer slooose
them selvescre
wsare shot a crost
the rume.
The nussandbolss
c r u m b l e & break
and the oiloiloiloil (preciousmetalmoltendino)
shoots crost the rume (blackintheeyeofthebigbossman blackinhisfacehecanthide)
The ground fills with
steam
and the paint &&&&&& walls
comes off the -------------^
Th world collap says
andFIRESRISEUP
as once agin, lavafloes
smother the planet.
DwrtEiiuhanllerolestaursh
dOWiNWITnHHUMnANIgTY.
lONsGLIoVETHrEKwING.
Thclnyfmnchldrnwllsmthritslfbl.
Copyright ©
Butterat_Zool
... [
2002-07-16 10:10:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by outsider on
Wednesday, 17th July 2002 @ 08:28:22 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This is probably the most pureile piece of drivel ive ever read. Its an insult to anyone who writes poetry. I'm disappointed that such an unworthy work was actually allowed on this site. I was under the impression that this was a site for submitting poetry, not CRAP |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by princesspurty on
Friday, 9th August 2002 @ 10:17:17 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I'm sorry but you don't have a clue when it comes to poetry |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheDon on
Friday, 9th August 2002 @ 11:21:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
People shouldn't knock your artistic ideas. They are yours and you are allowed to post them. If someone doesn't like the poetry that's fine. If it doesn't fall in line with their idea of poetry that's fine too. His/Her "poetry" has a right to be here like everyone elses. I personally think that it is CRAP, and I didn't understand it, but it's still his/her art. Just like he/she is entitled to post his/her poetry and views through poetry, I am entitled not like it, just like he/she may not like mine!
Be Blessed! |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Tuesday, 13th August 2002 @ 01:51:16 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Alright, i can understand that people might not like or think well of this poem or any of my other poems, but please, if you have bad things to say about any poem that you ever read, then instead of, or at least, in addition to calling it "CRAP" or other similar names, please let the author know what you think is wrong with it, or how they could possibly make th poem better. Alright, back to the poem. It was highly experimental, and it seems that nobody has really taken kindly to it. Please let me explain myself. The "Sex Machine" described is simply humanity, the "Units" are babies, and the general meaning of the poem is that as more and more people are born, the world becomes continuously more chaotic and dysfunctional. The experimental part came when i tried to relate the actual text of the poem to the poem's meaning. The poem describes this factory where humans are being constructed, again, the "Sex Machine," and as things become more chaotic, the poem describes the machines breaking down as oil shoots across the room or nuts and bolts are destroyed. At the same time, the text becomes progressively more chaotic as, at first, the rhyme scheme is warped and then disappears entirely, then the meter is also perverted, follwed by the spelling and grammar, and ending in a state with all of the letters of the words intertwined, and having no spaces or punctuation at all. The last stanza translated reads "Dinosaurs will rule the earth. Down with Humanity. Long live the king. (Drownlings) The colony of man-children will smother itself blue." I hope this helps you to better understand the meaning of this "crap" that i wrote. Also, i would like to ask you to give a couple of my other works a read because none of the rest are at all like this, and i have even gotten some nice, praising responses on a good number of them. I thank you for your time, and wish you all a pleasant day. Sincerely, Butterat Zool. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lia on
Saturday, 7th September 2002 @ 06:01:09 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| You know..it's all too often someone sits down to read something such as this and has absolutely no clue what they are doing. They are basically stating that you have no right to post such 'crap'...when in truth..they have no right to read it if all they are going to see is what they want. For example..I wrote a poem..the actual story within in is that a woman decides to commit suicide..at the last second she changes her mind and the bullet shoots through the wall...missing her but hitting her daughter. You wouldn't believe how many ppl told me they were apalled that I would write something so horrible. When the actual meaning behind the poem is to show people..that absolutely nothing in life is worth killing yourself over...especially when it can cause such horrible reprecussions. Once explained, the poem was reread and opinions were changed. Just goes to show how quick ppl are to judge without knowing. And I read this poem and immediately knew you were referring to babies...wasn't exactly sure of the rest..but if you had not explained..I would have asked...so that way I could make my comment based on the reasoning behind it. I happen to think you did an awesome job on this poem. I always enjoy reading something that makes me think. Keep writing :) |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fan on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 10:54:54 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Brilliant! This was an OUTSTANDING write. You know, at first i wasn't sure what *exactly you ment when you reffered to some things, but then when i thought about it..I got it. AND i was very overwhelmed and impressed. I love how you used your terms and phrases and have such a unique way of writing.
Those people that posted other comments about it being so called ..'crap'..well they really have no right to put it down. I thought it was awesome.
And if you notice, just how many reads this has gotten, and that this is in the top 30, you see that only a few people out of well over 200 reffered to it as 'Crap'.
Brilliant! Keep writing.
-Fan. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Tuesday, 19th November 2002 @ 05:52:35 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Thank you guys for posting your comments on this poem. This poem was, for me, one of those few poems that you write every so often that you know won't go unnoticed by the poetry-loving world. I really appreciate your comments, and at the same time, i can't help feeling a little smug. I'm thankful that you two understood it and for everyone else who has read this one and silently moved on after having understood it. Poetry that makes you think is my favorite kind, and this site could always use more of that. Have a nice day everyone, and a good rest of your life. Butterat Zool. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by MnMnMsrcool on
Monday, 6th January 2003 @ 10:24:51 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I like it alot. it isnt anything that i have read. like some people i didnt get it but when u explained it it made more since and i like it and how different it is. I think all the things that u say are true. good job keep writin |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by MnMnMsrcool on
Monday, 6th January 2003 @ 10:27:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| People have there own way of writing poetry it doesnt all have to make sense that is the whole point. you cant criticize something u cant even understand. and this is a site for poetry. it is poetry for his person not u. you didnt write it and u dont understand it. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Sunday, 12th January 2003 @ 12:39:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I like "the nussandbois" ! It captures the moment when the first tiny crack becomes clearly distinguishable ......... Cut to towering structure of civilisation doomed to collapse and extinction.
A few words are worth a thousand pictures.. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mad-Mancunian on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 03:40:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I'll tell you what I think, but please don't be upset...if you are trying to make a copy of Joyce's "Finnegan's Wake", you are going to lose out. I appreciate how you mess up the last few stanzas to depict the chaos of overpopulation, but personally-this is the biggest piece of "lap sap" that I ever read since I had to study "Literature" for my High School syllabus. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 16th March 2003 @ 12:10:30 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
cool poem, creative and excellent; absolutely love it up to the last paragraph, where i was lost, then it came to a stop for me, can't see the words in 1st and 4th line, never was one for over much decoding, i'd rather have a cookie, yet i clearly see down w/ humanity, long live the king, i would do something else with the part or make it more clear, yet this;
"Th world collap says
andFIRESRISEUP
as once agin, lavafloes
smother the planet."<--it's great, shows me a new/old world happening, also love the words you make up along the way as i do it too and have been critized lol, overall i love it, and your deep mind, huggs n' love to you, always nessa
|
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Sunday, 16th March 2003 @ 03:05:59 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Ladyfawn, thank you for your comment. Let me explain my reasons for making the final stanza unclear. First of all, I'm glad that you can't see the words i say are in there. The complete disappearance of spacing, spelling, or even coherent words is supposed to represent a time in the future, after our species has not only fallen from greatness, but has also collapsed into near extinction. The fact that you can see the phrases "down with humanity" and "long live the king" even though they're still pretty jumbled and messed up represents the last hint of humanity in the world. At this time, there are still people, but they are submissive to some other species. They criticize their own way of life and hail the ways of their masters so that they may live. Through all of this social submersion to a state of being pariahs, humans will very much be "drownlings". In much the same way, dinosaurs will rule the earth, and the colony of man children will smother itself blue. Nobody will ever mature, and through self-loathing and self insulting, it will get to a point where humans will actually oppress themselves (their families and tribes, not just strangers like we do nowadays). No air = blue face. As far as being able to see those phrases in the letters i've thrown up there, here's how to decipher those: Take all of the lower case letters in the second and third lines of the final stanza and you get "dinnglsorw", which is an anagram for "drownlings". For the first line, I took the phrase "dinosaurs will rule the earth"
and i took the first letter off of each word and wrote it down, and the next letter in each word and so on, so "DwrtE" becomes "DwrtEiiuha" from "inosaurs ill ule he arth", which becomes "DwrtEiiuhanller" but then i started running out of letters in the shorter words, so then i just kinda started throwing in the next letter or a word at random and it ended up as i have it. To test that, check the letters that i have, and see if they aren't an anagram for "dinosaurs will rule the earth". And as for the last line, i figured, "hey, it's thelast line of the poem, I've already destroyed spelling, grammar, punnctuation, and even words. Why not get rid of the vowels too now." So, if you look carefully, you'll see that "Thclnyfmnchldrnwllsmthritslfbl." is actually "The colony of man children will smother itself blue.", just without any vowels or spaces between words. That's my "code," if you will. If it seems impossible, then i assure you, it's not something that readers are meant to undo, just as readers can't undo overpopulation, they can just be made aware of it. Thanks again for your comment, have a nice day, and a good rest of your life. Butterat Zool. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 24th March 2003 @ 01:59:12 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| okay lol, i had to put it up on my wordpad....*determined*, yes it is an excellent anagram of the more complicated kind hehe.. ahh yes it has all come together for me now; this poem is so cool, *now sees the light and is happy* *dances with the dogs* you take care and have a happy life too:) and ty** hugs, nessa |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by bluebxer on
Tuesday, 1st April 2003 @ 10:48:42 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
if you want my honest vary blunt opinion....
i thought it was great. if you follow poetry or writtings like a real artist does you would have seen the real greatness of. i understand completley where you are coming from butterrat_zool. i would also understand why people would call it crap too.
edgar allen poe was considered to have been insane and that his writtings made no sense, but they are making a dead man rich off of crap. i think that this sex machine has a real polictical appeal affect. the world will eventually desroy itsself and they say that history does repeat itsself. keep up the unigue writting and one day it will be recongnized as great. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Desi on
Friday, 4th April 2003 @ 06:59:27 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I must admit, I don't understand it. Therefor, I don't really like it. But if its your way of expressing yourself, then go for it. People shouldn't trash your work.
For all you people out there trashing his work: It's ok to express your opinion, but you don't have to trash it. THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF POETRY OUT THERE YOU KNOW! |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by hardcoreputa on
Wednesday, 25th June 2003 @ 01:45:44 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| people always shout out about how they hate conformity, well he has apparently decided not to conform and has written something very original and unique... and of course ppl stil criticize it... hypocrites ~Apryl |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hiddendarkness1705 on
Thursday, 26th June 2003 @ 11:16:18 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I kinda have to agree...this is a poetry site..play on your own time |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by crimson_purity on
Saturday, 23rd August 2003 @ 07:25:22 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| ....Interesting, I liked it, not sure if I fully understand it, but I don't think that's the most important thing. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by crimson_purity on
Saturday, 23rd August 2003 @ 07:26:26 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| ....Interesting, I liked it, not sure if I fully understand it, but I don't think that's the most important thing. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Monday, 17th November 2003 @ 04:29:05 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Honestly, i didn't think it was bad. But The hidden meanings go beyond comprehension. That last stanza was baffling, and resembled random key smashing more than anything else. With the meaning revealed, it takes on such grandiose stature i don't think you should take heed of the scorn in the beginning. Above, someone mentioned Edgar Allan Poe, and we all know Picasso was dead for centuries before people realized what his art was worth. Anyway. As constructive criticism, I'd say you might want to
1. scramble the beat in a more visible fashion of degredation
2. leave a few clues to the decoding of your words
3. Use more thought-provoking language. There's a reason Shakespeare could be just as confusing but no less deferred.
4. the "&&&&&&" and "---^" i don't get. While i'm not asking you to clarify, i'm under the impression there might be a better form of expression.
To fate and time i dedicate this eery little write;
a gift for all forever palled and left in darkest plight"
- The Illusionary Whisp of things unheard,
~Eternity's Lyre |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Thursday, 20th November 2003 @ 01:45:05 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Thank you, eternityslyre, but once again, the last stanza was not meant to be understood. There was structure in writing it, but that was all for me. I guess i kind of devalued it a bit by explaining the thought that went into the last stanza. Oh well. I've learned from my mistake, and i can only hope that some of you others have learned a bit about how to read poetry, and the fact that (i guess) some things are just better left unknown about a piece. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by harshreality on
Friday, 28th November 2003 @ 11:51:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| only unerstood it after I read your explanation, but I think your brilliant. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 7th December 2003 @ 04:13:51 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I honestly think it leaves everyone up to there own meaning. As most poetry, no matter how is it writen it is going to mean something different to each person who reads it. I like it, it shows chaos and control at the same time. Thank you for your time to share this with us |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by twinkletoes on
Wednesday, 3rd March 2004 @ 10:35:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
thank you for your look at humanity, art is very personal but if you get a reation it is GOOD art, evidence to my eyes says, this is good art.
Twinkletoes! |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Soulpoetry on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 10:42:09 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| At first didn't understood it but after your explanation...I think is a good poem that's make you think a lot :) |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 01:41:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i have to admit when i first resd this poem i did not quite understand, so i immediately referred to the comment section. where i read some ppl calling it CRAP but the question i had was how can it be crap? cuz i'm sure the first time anyone read this they each had a different idea of what u were trying to say so instead of commenting on what u do not know ask a question ......after reading the comments i have a clear view of this poem and have to say that i like it and u should keep writing, i would like to be able to write like that..Never judge;Just make suggestions-chris3btine77 |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by chris3btine77 on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 02:01:49 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i just wanted to point out that this poem is the most read out of the miscellaneous section which has almost 1600 poems |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Key-holeGolf on
Sunday, 16th May 2004 @ 06:54:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
First read - LOVED THIS!!!! so creative. Gota admit i got lost near the end but was pleased that it made me stop and think. Really love "---------^" I thought this was such a good idea, began to look like my insurance forms!
So much feed back, really contraversial! Fantastic to see this on this site, you've captured a lot of attention with this. You're explanations made it harder for me, as they went over my simple head. Regardless of this, I found this enjoyable at a simpler level!
Fantastic work! Really impressed with how you've drawn out the voices of the supporters of both arguments here. GREAT! (sorry this was so long) |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 02:48:04 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| What the hell was that??????????aND I HAVE POEMS THAT GET TAKEN OFF DUE TO CONTENT>>>>>>>> |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 02:49:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| may you find the same fate as slyvia plath cause God knows you do not have her talent>>>> |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:09:33 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Honestly, I must say that while I didn't understand the ending until I read the comments. It didn't bother me because I understood the rest. Even so, it wasn't written for me. It wasn't written for you, it wasn't written for anyone but Butterat_zool. Who cares if you understand it? It isn't yours.
Accept the fact that it means something to someone and must, in turn, be of some worth. I like it. Way to express yourself.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by co_cane13 on
Monday, 12th July 2004 @ 01:08:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| awesome! that poem has my mind racing. and after the explanation, i say it is brilliant as well. i am in awe of you talent. thank you for sharing you gift. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Monday, 12th July 2004 @ 07:30:55 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Just one more word about this and then i swear i'm done... A lot of people have been focusing on the ampersands (&s) and the "-----^" in the seventh stanza. The ampersands only appear in the version that's posted on this site. It's really only supposed to be a big blank space between the word paint and the word walls in that line, but for some reason that i can't remember, the site didn't like the idea of having a whole bunch of spaces in between two words on a single line, so i went with & signs to fill the space so that it could stay as one line. Also the ------^ is an arrow. I'm not sure everyone caught that in the comments section. It leads from the word the and points to the word walls, so that those two lines read "and the paint comes off the walls" and not "and the paint walls comes off the". I did this to kind of show like an earthquake effect or a building crumbling... There's a sudden shift of some sort and in an instant, one part of the factory is on a lower elevation than another part, so you see most of the building, and then you look over and up a little and hey! there's the rest of it. Finally, and i can't believe i just noticed this now when it's totally been there all along, the "i" near the end of the last line of the poem shouldn't be there, being a vowel and all. Anyways, keep reading and keep thinking and have a nice day. Butterat Zool. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by corrupted_minds on
Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 07:06:32 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
As some of the people have said it isnt like anything they have read and that's right this is very different. I think you have done a good job with it and it shows a very unique writing style.
love always
corrupted minds |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by tlhInganHom on
Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 12:20:46 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
E.E. *****s, I hate you.
What a great topic, though! It's not dodgy, but it implies dodgy; wonderful :-) |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by tlhInganHom on
Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 12:22:58 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| E.E. C-u-m-i-n-g-s, that should say. Blasted filter. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sirena_Degana on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 09:19:05 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
at first i get it then it just goes PLOP!!! but newayz it's very spazztic like me so i understand it in some weird hardcore way but newayz i like this one it's very interesting and no it's not crap! the person that wrote that probably writes crappier crap!
blessed be |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Thursday, 14th October 2004 @ 09:10:51 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Some art is black and white, some is abstract. This is art as well, and if you are a lover of the arts, poetry for example, you must respect it. I for one I liked it. MAybe it looked like a jumbled mess to some, but i thought it was really cool. I have never read anything like that before. Can that be said to many of us? No. You are very individualistic, if that is even a word, but if it's not it is now because that is what you are! I liked it a lot, seriously. not everything has to be so normal or follow any sort of rules... |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by sunshiny on
Thursday, 25th November 2004 @ 02:21:26 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Very original. I also agree with Chelsea. If someone thinks a poem is "crap" it doesn't necessarily mean that other people will think it is. If someone writes a poem, it means something to them and that is what poetry is all about. I think this is the artistic portrayal of Butterat_Zool's thoughts. Even though we may not agree with his feelings, it doesn't mean we can't appreciate them. Great job! |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Minya on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 04:02:36 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Whatever. I don't like the weird stuff, but whatever. :( |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Poetic_Influence on
Wednesday, 25th January 2006 @ 02:16:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this is horrible |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hautebush on
Monday, 27th March 2006 @ 08:36:25 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hey there,
Today is my first day on this site. I haven't posted any poetry as of this moment. Intrigued by the heading "100 Most Read", I just had to look. My intrigue continued at your title. A happy surprise awaited me. Thanks for having the cojones to write some poetry! Based on other comments about this poem, I see your detractors are almost violent about your art. Hang tough. You have a vision. Your creativity sings but the final stanza was difficult for me. I read lots of poetry and always take time to consider the theme, format, etc. Yet this last stanza proved too much for me. Your explanation was most helpful. Keep writing. |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by OctoberRain on
Saturday, 27th October 2007 @ 01:51:04 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Why do you believe overpopulation will be our downfall? |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Maccabeus on
Sunday, 16th December 2007 @ 06:38:41 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Would it be a cliche to say "What The F*ck?"
Do you even speak english? |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by simonwrite on
Tuesday, 3rd November 2009 @ 09:41:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| ok so didnt understand it. but i really like poetry i dont understand it gives me the understanding that everyone of us has a diff. perspective on this world, and although i did not understand it i was able to see the world through your eyes for a few fleeting second. PROPS |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jimmy_Harlequin on
Saturday, 19th December 2009 @ 09:15:44 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow
talk to me, i want to know what you were thinking in order to come up with that.
you must have an interesting mind.
the poem is great
it's like nothing i've ever read before
kudos to you and your liberated mind |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sexygirl on
Thursday, 7th October 2010 @ 05:27:52 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| What can I say...This is a real good write...keep them coming. I hope to read more in the future..take care |
|
|
Re: Sex Machine
(User Rating: 1 )
by hacktastic on
Friday, 17th December 2010 @ 02:39:57 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I thought this was great. I love how the talk of things breaking down is so quickly reflected in the grammar and spelling.
In the 7th stanza, I caught the _____^ as an arrow pointing to walls. Very clever.
Thanks for decrypting the last stanza in the comments. I may never have fully gotten it otherwise.
Lastly, 'Butterat Zool ' must be an anagram, though I have not solved it.
Nice work. Very nice. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
