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Asphyxiate my Mother
Contributed by
Ina
on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 12:49:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
She is an animal
with no instincts
stumbling blind
inside a rotten mattress
mother, hit your head
on the bathtub
metal train through my heart
is her bullet claw
pulling me next to her
cold mangled breath
intoxicated oxygen
breaks mirrors
all around her
she is ugly love
stuck in some
mental
butcher shop
mother, choke on the swollen towel
on all fours
to the kitchen
looking
for me
grabbing wallpaper
as she falls
ripping my future
and my little girl memories
mother, drown your face
her love is an upside down nail
blood seeps through my
forehead
as she drinks
to destroy my life
mother is on the next room and she is still not silent
Copyright ©
Ina
... [
2004-07-03 12:49:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Asphyxiate my Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 01:51:47 PM AEST
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I have never had to deal with an alocholic parent, I was quite fortunate... I am sorry you had to endure this, thanks for sharing this with us all............ you have a great talent for writing
pixie xx |
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Re: Asphyxiate my Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by UncleSpunky on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 02:09:58 PM AEST
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| I really like this, fantastic talent. Hope to read your next one soon! |
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Re: Asphyxiate my Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ina on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 02:14:25 PM AEST
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Thanks guys means the world to me. this poem was from the bottom of my waxy soul...
chekc out my site
www.xanga.com/Ina6 |
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Re: Asphyxiate my Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 04:37:52 PM AEST
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likewise i have not been given alcholic parents, must be hard
PFR |
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Re: Asphyxiate my Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by reilt on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 12:38:45 PM AEST
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| ina, i thought this was wonderfully written. i haven't been in your situation but reading your poem, i really sensed your pain and the loss you must have felt. thank you for sharing this. it's been great to read a new poem. i'm going to check out your site now. |
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Re: Asphyxiate my Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cancer on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 10:19:14 PM AEST
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i have yet to read a scrawl from you that wasn't original, memorable, and darkly fascinating. the visuals in this one were outstanding. the story itself, sad. haunting and captivating piece.
51 |
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Re: Asphyxiate my Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 05:32:49 PM AEST
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The two poems I've read about your alcoholic mother have been some of my favorites of yours, probably because it wasn't hard for you to write these. I'm sure you have a huge foundation from which your expression can arise from, regarding her. The other poem was "green something or other" that one was hilarious. This one.....let's see......it's more straight forward, not as funny as you normally are. That's not a bad thing though. I think this poem should be left as it is.
She is an animal
with no instincts
stumbling blind
inside a rotten mattress
mother, hit your head
on the bathtub
That might be my favorite part of the poem. I love the image of stumblin blind inside a rotten mattress....I take it back, that is hilarious. hahaha......But it's also very gritty, dirty....I use those words a lot but its kind of like the feeling of picking dirt out of your teeth. I like how you said it better.
And I also like how you siad, mother hit your head on the bathtub. that's great because it expresses your frustration, as well as shows how she isn't in control. I got an image of you helping her off the bathroom floor after she fell.
she is ugly love
stuck in some
mental
butcher shop
Love that line too. What makes your style so unique is your choice of words and images, that truly bring home the feeling....
mother, choke on the swollen towel
Reminds me of Radiohead's "Paranoid Android" on the album OK Computer (highly recommended)
"We hope that you choke,
that you choke,
that you choke"
Be True,
zenmind |
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