What should I do?
Contributed by
Noax
on
Friday, 2nd July 2004 @ 06:57:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I Love you, when you act as if you care, I love you, when you do as you say. But I hate, the fact that you might go away, and vanish out of my life. Disappear, like you were never even here. It's like your absence could lead me to insanity, make me a mad-man. A side of me I wish not to portrait is the part where my insecurity shines through the most, the part where I'm longing, for you, wanting you. I'm playing a part, it's all an act, an act, to hide the fact that, I still am, that little insecure boy, the little boy which face used to turn red when talking about perfectly normal natural things, things like intimacy. When you are around, all I do is put on a mask, a mask of indifference. I try to play it cool, when all it really does is eat me up inside.
I've gone through lots of self-development, through the time I've known you, and before. It's weird, how one always seems to seek others to get self acceptance, when what it really means is acceptance of self. At the time I'm seeking for you, to accept me as what I can be, and what we could be, together. The process is long and it's wearing me down, wish we could relive our first night on the town. Time is running out, don't know how long I'll be able to wait, for you, some days I feel like I could wait forever.
But at times I feel so neglected by you, I'm lowering myself for you, can't you see?
The mask is there for a reason... It's there to shield my core, to make sure you do not hurt, that little boy, longing, yearning for you, for your love.
I'm waiting for you, patiently, waiting for you, to realize who I am, what I can be, and what we both can be together.
And I think you are starting to, or am I wrong?
With you would be more considerate.
Indifferent is what I should be, shall become and that's not who I am.
Show me, the real you, show me that you truly care, show me..., that I did not misjudge you.
Your words are starting to become worthless to me, almost everything you say is contradicted by what you do, and how you act.
I'm wondering if I should perhaps tell you what I feel, but I am afraid that all it will do is scare you away, away from me....
Copyright ©
Noax
... [
2004-07-02 18:57:59] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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