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NATURES WARNING
Contributed by
RobertKilpatrick
on
Thursday, 1st July 2004 @ 01:07:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
NaturePoetry
|
The smoke from the fire, is rising high
Higher than a buyer, could ever buy
Burning twigs, branches, logs and air
Animals running, Pigs Finches, Frogs and Deer.
Burning forests down, majestic trees once stood
Turning the wind around, might save them, it should
Oceans roar, against the Land, Typhoon warning
No folk lore, Devastation is at hand, people are hoarding.
Houses, Trees, Lie all around, wind this time is to blame
House Keys, make not a sound, wind this time, its not the same
No matter if you go to space, or scream and shout
Nature sees to it, that its all balanced out.
COPYRIGHT © ROBERT KILPATRICK
Copyright ©
RobertKilpatrick
... [
2004-07-01 01:07:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: NATURES WARNING
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 1st July 2004 @ 01:40:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Sad but written well.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: NATURES WARNING
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st July 2004 @ 03:23:17 AM AEST
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Entirely confusing. I thought this would be about global warming or something. I was wrong.
You use several disconnected ideas; 'Higher than a buyer' (?), 'Turning the wind around . . .'. and this leaves me feeling slightly bewildered. The last stanza made a bit more sense, but your poem was lost on me by then.
Keep writing.
2/5. |
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Re: NATURES WARNING
(User Rating: 1 )
by Glo on
Thursday, 8th July 2004 @ 07:58:04 PM AEST
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From the ashes rise the Phoenix...to live through another cycle of life. All part of the circle of life. Very nice write. Nature sees to it that this world will carry on. I enjoyed very much.
Glo! |
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Re: NATURES WARNING
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Monday, 12th July 2004 @ 04:41:42 AM AEST
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| I think I agree with Neptunes_First you are writing in several themes here while you start them well you do not finish them strongly. The themes are all related to nature so the meaning of your poem is not lost. The audience is looking for your erotic poetry that swoons them into thinking about love. While that is not my style or interest in poetry I must admit that is your strength in writing. Compare your elements in those poems and apply them to your nonlove poems and your writing will become consistent. This is a good poem otherwise. |
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