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My Hardest Decision

Contributed by EvaRee on Monday, 28th June 2004 @ 11:07:59 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



My heart is full of sadness
as I sit and wonder why
I have to make this decision
of who is going to die.
I realize i'm young
but my beliefs are strong
it's the only thing ever
I could hold on to this long.
I understand what he saying
because it doesn't make sense
but I shouldn't be the one
taking this test.
He puts it on me
like i'm the one to blame
because we might have another child
when things aren't the same.
We're not together anymore
and he thinks it's wrong
to bring another child
where they dont belong.
He wants me
to think this through
saying i should get rid of it
thats something i just cant do.
I have two choices
and one needs to be made soon
nothing makes sense
I just dont know what to do.
Either I kill something
so perfect and pure
or he kills himself
that was his promise for sure.
How do I make this decision
how can I let go of what I believe
I've let go of everything
that was the only thing I could keep.
He doesn't understand
I couldn't live with myself
knowing I did somthing like that
and no one could help.
Either I have only one child
who has a father
or I have two
that only have a mother.
My little angel now
she just loves him so much
she just cant live
on only what was.
I would die
it would just kill me inside
knowing I was a murderer
and never knowing why.
He knew what he was doing
that night in my bed
I knew looking in his eyes
nothing needed to be said.
But why this now
because we're not together
we have a child now
so he's already stuck forever.
I dont have long
to make everyting make sense
it's a loose-loose situation
either way I fail this test.
Someone please help me
what do I do
this is the hardest decision
that I never knew.




Copyright © EvaRee ... [ 2004-06-28 23:07:59]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: My Hardest Decision (User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on Monday, 28th June 2004 @ 11:12:13 PM AEST
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oh my dear... what a tragic situation.... I can't imagine the turmoil you must be feeling! Please PM me or e-mail me at emilyb1208@hotmail.com, or on AIM I am emilyb1208 if you need someone to talk to. I am not sure how much help I can be but I am here to listen. God bless


Re: My Hardest Decision (User Rating: 1 )
by slayer_015 on Monday, 28th June 2004 @ 11:21:55 PM AEST
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Please listen to me.
You are in the midst of a battle and you must therefore prepare yourself as such.Don't ever kill a child,for God said eternal damnation lies to those who would harm a child.This man you write of is a grown man,who knows right from wrong,he must make his own decisions.Your soul is much more important than some poor soul that just can't take the pressure of being a father.Don't kill the most precious gift in the universe,please don't.Make the daddy choose his own path,don't destroy yourself and a living breathing soul trying to save his.Most of all I beseech you,PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It will help you even in your darkest hours.


Sincerely,
Brian


Re: My Hardest Decision (User Rating: 1 )
by Hanno on Monday, 28th June 2004 @ 11:30:25 PM AEST
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It is a loose-loose' situation if someone has to die. There is always the guilt that follows and then the arguements start, THEY are 'loose-loose'. Praying is THE only answer.
Hanno


Re: My Hardest Decision (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Tuesday, 29th June 2004 @ 03:53:53 PM AEST
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What a grievous thing to have to go through! I am very sorry for you. And I admire your love for the innocent child. Please don't end its life! It is an opportunity for something beautiful. Don't let darkness quench the beauty.

I don't know how anyone could call himself a man and treat you like this. How unmanly. I cannot respect a threat like this enough to make someone innocent lose his/her life.

...But I see things from a much easier standpoint, as I am not in the middle of such a heartbreaking situation. I don't have the heart to tell you what to do. But I will pray for you.
Blessings.
Andrew




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