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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 12:42:10 AEST

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Split

Contributed by luinil on Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 @ 08:39:29 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

Open your eyes better to see
They're veins flow with treachery
That's not friendship, only pity

They like whoever I choose to be
They would never abandon me
No, they are friends; I've no enemy

They're deceiving you with flattery
They steal your blood to pay their fee
Liars, thieves, deceiving and phony

I won't be blinded by trickery
i've given no reason for them to hate me
No, you've confused me with somebody

You're too slow, too meak, too sorry, too chubby
Too stupid, too weird, too bad, really
Listen to them talking, listen more closely

But, they're smiling and talking happily...
Now they're talking much more softly
Talking about me? Could that really be?

Of course I'm right, don't be silly
You are a lone-- there is nobody
Now i've got you; you'll never be free

Copyright © luinil ... [ 2004-06-22 08:39:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Split (User Rating: 1 )
by Shadow on Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 @ 01:28:54 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I love the first part but the last 4 stanzas are seeming kinda rushed. It lost it's awsome rhym. Just my opinion. I can feel the pain in it and a serton emotion rising. Good wright.

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