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~Price Check!~
Contributed by
RonMiller
on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 09:49:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
I make it to the store after a long day at work.
Pull out my list and go in search of a cart.
I find one with a wheel that's gone berserk.
I feel the tension build before I even start.
When I get to the veggie stand, what do i see?
But a sweet little lady entertaining herself.
I get this feeling that she is messing with me.
One by one, she picks the produce off the shelf.
I clear my throat loudly at the ladies' expense.
She looks at me like I'm some kind of menace.
The sweet little lady just can't be this dense.
Is it that d*mn hard to pick a head of lettuce!
Shopping cart full, I head for the "Quick check".
Suddenly, my place in line has been stolen.
When I get cut in front of by the old wreck!
And I know her items are more than a dozen!
So far I'm doing good. My top hasn't been blown.
But the lady ahead is giving me the bends.
Just then, the cashier jumps on the microphone,
And screams, "Merv! Price check on Depends!"
Now I can feel the blood rushing to my face,
as the clerk looks over and gives me a smile.
I have this sudden urge to pull out my Mace,
But I've finally made it to the front of this aisle.
The kid gives a sigh as I place my goods down.
Normally I would find this to be a bit funny.
But he just picked the wrong time to be a clown.
I reach into my wallet and pull out the money.
He looks up at me, with a pout like a brat,
"Do you have anything smaller than a fifty?"
I would normally oblige, but it's too late for that.
The boiling point has been reached within me.
I imagine his head connecting with a bat,
but I know that would be just a little severe.
So I look square in the eyes of this cocky cat,
"Smaller than a fifty? Got a one right here!"
When security finally lets me leave the store,
I search through five lanes until I find my car.
I swear, if I stayed in there one minute more,
Ambulances would have been heard from afar.
I get home in a record breaking hour and a half.
Walk into the house and collapse on the bed.
I'm sure some day I will reflect on this and laugh.
When it occurs to me, ****! I forgot the bread!
Copyright ©
RonMiller
... [
2004-06-21 21:49:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 09:58:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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God, I have had days like this. I hate grocery stores to begin with but I think all the most difficult people have radar and know when I go and show up on purpose to push my buttons. I try to just bite my tongue and give them my best phoney smile and be gracious when I would rather just take an Uzi and mow them all down, LOLOLOL.
Rita |
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 10:51:14 PM AEST
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This was quite amusing. I've been there, and usually with grankids in tow. By the time I leave, I've got a headache that a 10 pound aspirin wouldn't get rid of!! And I ALWAYS forget something! I empathesize with you. Great write!
Thumps ; 0 ) |
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 11:03:17 PM AEST
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there is always one in the entire store that seems to do this each time I go cute write
Michelle |
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 11:30:10 PM AEST
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| excellent. very funny. that old wreck was my grandmother, how could you speak of her so! |
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by SnowB on
Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 @ 04:11:31 AM AEST
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Oh My God!...hee hee...I laughed and laughed while I read this!.....Thanks for the giggles! You never cease to amaze me Ron........
Always........Lena |
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 @ 06:19:26 AM AEST
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Dont you just love supermarkets.
Loved the poem Ron so funny been there myself.
Last week told the man on the fish stall to clean up some fish for me, and was sorry about forgetting to pick it up when i ordered some several weeks before ....yes you may have guess what happened next told him I would be five mins and would be back to pick it up.
When at home remembered fish oh ****will have to avoid that section for a while now
Love Sweetangelukxxxxxx |
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by angelav on
Thursday, 24th June 2004 @ 12:25:04 AM AEST
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| What fun! It made me smile all the way. Great job. |
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Re: ~Price Check!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 24th June 2004 @ 12:34:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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lololol!
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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