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Drunken Step Mum
Contributed by
pixie
on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 11:56:38 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Upstairs is where I can hear it,
As I silently weep and sit,
I can hear all the rows and the fights,
Early in the morning and late at night.
It’s usually after Mummy’s had a drink,
Comes home late and kicks up a stink,
About absolutely nothing at all,
But she likes to make Daddy feel so small.
I hear her screaming, angry voice,
He has to listen he has no choice,
If he tries to ignore he words,
She takes it out on his little girl.
Which is me, I am only 9 years old,
So he has to do as he is told,
Otherwise I get the beating,
There is no point in my whines or bleating.
That makes her hit with much more force,
She doesn’t really need a cause,
Any old excuse will do,
And another bottle she gets through.
Copyright ©
pixie
... [
2004-06-19 11:56:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 12:00:19 PM AEST
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I felt you could have maybe gone further with it--a little more embellishment or drama perhaps. However, what you did do with the subject was write a very good poem. Cheers!
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by pyrofairyburning on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 12:05:14 PM AEST
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Feels like there's something missing in the fourth stanza, not sure what it is, but it could use a small toush up. All in all, a good read.
Blessed Be,
Tink |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by RhythmBndt on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 12:35:43 PM AEST
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| That's deep :-/ |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 12:56:59 PM AEST
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I dont reate to this...however I do enjoy reading this...it has a strong meaning and is filled with a lot of sour emotions...I liked it...very very sad however...Im sorry you had top go tohrough that Im sorry anyone does...keep your head held high...
much love,
Dani |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by Calista on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 02:04:59 PM AEST
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i can relate to this poem in a few ways, and when i write about it, it is usually more about the feelings i have with the story in the background. your piece tells the story, and because of the way it is put down, the reader can feel the emotions through it. incredible write, congratulations
~Calista |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 02:25:46 PM AEST
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I am so sorry, my friend, that you had to endure such wrath. I have never been able to understand people that can abuse others. It takes a really sick person to abuse a child, animal, or elder. There is never a reason good enough for me.
Rita |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by lexxie on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 03:15:02 PM AEST
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very good
l3xxi3 |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by New_York_Chick on
Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 08:17:57 AM AEST
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thnx for writting this poem
it is very realistic, a real eye-openner |
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Re: Drunken Step Mum
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 11:02:09 AM AEST
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This hit me, very power. especially the end of the last stanza
'Any old excuse will do,
And another bottle she gets through.'
Very upsetting
BS xXx
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