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My Life is a Dream
Contributed by
wray
on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 09:46:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
My life is a dream, a long dark tunnel
Shrouded by mists, beneath the sea;
A cavern so splendid, so fruitful, so vital –
I hear the waves crashing, they’re calling for me.
The dream is a grey one; I once knew the fragrance
Of clouded skies warming the face of my skin,
Of rain splashing hungry to drown me my sorrows –
These sorrowful winterclouds cry from within.
I feel here the tremor of unseeing rushes:
Earthquakes of footsteps that haunt in my dreams;
The moon does not rise here, it slumbers in torture –
In wantingness, nothing bears quite as it seems.
This harpist of fantasy, calleth my name!
The tunnel forgets me,
My cry is the same…
My life is a nightmare, I see through this tunnel
Clearing of mists, beneath here, the sea;
No cavern I know here, but bright morning sunlight –
And people are calling! they’re calling to me.
Copyright ©
wray
... [
2004-06-19 09:46:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 09:57:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great poem!
i lke the rhythm you've used. it keeps this together well. |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 10:07:22 AM AEST
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| This is a very good poem, I hope that what you see in the mists become reality |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by hooray_its_jen on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 10:44:41 AM AEST
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Very nice poem, I liked the ending. It has a nice rythm to it and it flows very easily. I enjoyed it a lot!
~Jenna |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 12:12:32 PM AEST
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really good poem, there is a light at the end of the tunnel,
pixie xx |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ethereal_Engine on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 02:42:05 PM AEST
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| The first part made me think of a journey I once made in FFXI through Korrolaka tunnel. That tunnel is pretty filled with plants with a waterfall midway through. I love how this has many fantasy elements in it with mists, winterclouds, a beautiful yet confining tunnel, rain, earthquakes. All of thoese things make this unique. Thee feeling of confinement and nightmare are skillfuly written without being depressing in the least bit. Thanks for your comment on Sleeps and Sheeps. I guess it was a tribute to FFXI and other RPG's. Right now im in a rut in FFXI...for some reason I can never get a group for my 36drg...I've been trying to get back into the groove of that game but hard as I try people just dont seem to invite me :( |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Monday, 28th June 2004 @ 10:17:48 PM AEST
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| Your imagery here is strangely haunting... Just specific enough to give the mind something to work with, just vague enough to leave plenty for the imagination to fill in. You walk a fine line here with the grace of a circus star. Such a bright heart though, you can't even talk about sadness without filling it in with hope, and giving it a keen, fast tempo. Another lovely piece. As always, i look forward to the next one. Your mate, Butterat Zool. |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Thursday, 1st July 2004 @ 09:14:41 PM AEST
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| Great flow this poem has, and the hope you fitted into the end of the poem is very inspirational. |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 02:00:25 AM AEST
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beautiful:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: My Life is a Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 03:45:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| such imigray, you pain one hell of a portriat with this one Wray! |
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