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Ponder This
Contributed by
Living_In_My_Dream
on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 08:52:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Ponder the sweet requiem of discord
What instrument of persuasion played me for a fool?
And drums into me my imperfections
I ache with resounding dissonance
Skin ripples with harsh abrasions
Strikes out a darkened melody.
Aesthetics, a desirable package
Persona, blackened by malcontent
In the morning there is nothing left
But what’s inside of me.
Drained of desirability
A shell of unwanted shadows
Who is truly selfless?
Why are “adults” infinitely wiser?
My erudition raises the finger at experience
To brake the bonds of uniformity
Form my true self
Even if it is a saddened one.
Rape yourself of these former tokens
Discard shattered promises
Should I war with will for love?
Against my natural defences
Chase a greater dream
One where love loves me
Copyright ©
Living_In_My_Dream
... [
2004-06-18 20:52:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ponder This
(User Rating: 1 )
by pyrofairyburning on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 09:39:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oooooh, Striking. Powerfull. And wonderous combination of logic and beauty. W.....O.....W
Blessed Be,
Tink
P.S. Damn good writing. Don't let any other fool say other wise |
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Re: Ponder This
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 12:13:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow is right!!! this is really good. interesting words used. different but amazing! A+++++ |
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Re: Ponder This
(User Rating: 1 )
by rugby_player on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 12:58:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| some of the words were kinda big for me..but then again sometimes i have trouble with the meaning of the...lol....Very good..wait great...i'm impressed you showed your intellegence.....this is something i could never do. |
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Re: Ponder This
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 01:24:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This was an awesome read...I loved the way you melted with words and expressed such anger, but an intelligent anger, great read..
Take it easy
Sam |
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Re: Ponder This
(User Rating: 1 )
by PunkRocker494 on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 01:31:17 PM AEST
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| All I can say is WOW! It is very, very deep and very well thought out. Brilliant. |
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Re: Ponder This
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ethereal_Engine on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 03:21:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| First off, I forgot to write a subject for my other comment lol....2nd time I did that. I try to change the subject to something other then Re: poemname to make it feel less like a message borad but sometimes I forget to write something there. Once again by my standards this is well written. the line "Why are "adults" infinitely wiser?" I have a response to. It isnt that they're wiser they're just more experienced and some mistake experience with wisdom and the two are very different. I like how in the first part you compare everything to insturments and music. I really wish I could write something...more involved but...sad/depressing type poetry just makes me feel sorry for the person who wrote it..and its a bit too deep to get involved with...write something light and Ill probally have more to say about the poem itself. Thanks for your comments |
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Re: Ponder This
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bones on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 04:07:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Brilliant! Excellent! This poem would be great as a song! I loved it! |
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