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Well-Paved Evil
Contributed by
Cole
on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 06:12:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
The beast was always there,
Even before that very first night,
A whispering voice,
That seemed to suck away light.
We always knew,
For it was frequently mentioned,
It’s the snake among the vines,
Our mind’s own invention.
But the latter was not accepted,
Perceived as just Simon’s view,
A small flicker of a fire,
That died when the conch next blew.
If only we had listened,
Only accepted what was said,
All our actions would have been better,
Those few boys, not dead.
But the evil inside us,
Man’s one true beast,
Tamed by society,
And now newly released,
Would not let us listen,
Let us accept what we are,
A true beast in the mind,
A real menace, heart’s scar.
So evil prevailed,
More bad now than good,
More concerned of what was,
Than what will or what should.
And thusly it continued,
And lived on, and bred,
Torching society,
Leaving order for dead,
Until conquered by age,
Who found us and saved.
But evil is present,
Naturally crooked, yet often well paved.
Copyright ©
Cole
... [
2004-06-18 18:12:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Well-Paved Evil
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 06:34:23 PM AEST
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| Well written and true to the book. I am encouraged that you are writing about what you read in school. You are destined for great things if you continue to do that. |
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Re: Well-Paved Evil
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 06:35:42 PM AEST
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If I were a ninth grade english teacher, i'd consider this worth an 'A'. You have a good grasp of R&R and have obviously read the book well enough to understand its message.
I would have liked to see the metaphor of travelling a road paved by evil used a bit more throughout your poem, and alluded to other than just in the title, but that's asking too much of a ninth grade poem methinks.
Well done. Thanks for sharing it. |
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Re: Well-Paved Evil
(User Rating: 1 )
by Luinil on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 07:29:01 PM AEST
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| incredible poem for an incredible story... great job! * |
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Re: Well-Paved Evil
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 07:16:23 PM AEST
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If you didn't get an A on this - I'll like to have a word with your teacher!
I'm blown away... gosh, I think I was writing dribble in ninth grade! I'm utterly impressed! Not only in your ability to write such a eloquent piece - but, also with the fact that you didn't trivialize it by writing only about the details. You went straight to the core of it.
Again impressed -
SNM
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Re: Well-Paved Evil
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cole on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 08:03:15 PM AEST
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| I am pleased to inform all that I did recieve an A on this project. |
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