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Through the eyes
Contributed by
forever_lonely
on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:05:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
You stood there, just staring
Looking down at my little self
So much crying mummy
Just as many tears too, but ill be ok
Im staring back at you mummy
Resting on your big strong shoulders
You shudder whe i kiss your cheek
You dont even listen to me anymore
I broke in tonight, didnt brake anything though
You moved my stuff again, didnt you
Took me hours to put it back
All you did is scream.. and cry
Im in the cupboard again daddy
Our special place, you know
Found that box again daddy
Though this time i didnt hear a bang...
Why no Bang daddy..
..Daddy..
..Daddy im scared...... Mummy?
Why wont you answer.. i guess you dont love me anymore...
... I still love you though.. i promise..
Copyright ©
forever_lonely
... [
2004-06-17 19:05:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Through the eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:16:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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What a powerful, powerful write this is. "Hauntingly tragic" would be the perfect description.
This one I won't soon forget my friend
Very Very well written,
Barkeep!!
Larry |
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Re: Through the eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:22:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This was an amazing poem Luke. I'm very impressed. And you are very right, life is different through a memory. great write.
Lindsey |
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Re: Through the eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:22:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Omg excuse my insolence, it so late here i didn even notice the typo errors i have made
When - 7th line
Break - 9th line
Please Please excuse my insabordination those sort of simple mistakes are unrefutable i am truely so very very sorry
Luke
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Re: Through the eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 08:22:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow like Larry said this is an unforgettable piece. The childlike innocence written to perfection. |
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Re: Through the eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 06:41:56 AM AEST
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i am choked up reading this,
pixie xx |
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Re: Through the eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 @ 06:06:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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luke..... this is haunting and chilling.... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Through the eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 3rd July 2004 @ 09:16:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Staggering. I am utterly overwhelmed. "Though this time i didn't hear a bang..." Wow, that particular line completely totaled me.
Again impressed,
SNM |
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