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What I am
Contributed by
Seans_Girl
on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 11:56:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I am a memory,
A story untold
I am a whisper,
Breathed in the cold
I am a ghost,
A myth from long ago,
Captured in time
With no place to go
I am a stare,
That catches your eye
I am a cloud
A smear in the sky
I am a flower,
Wilted and brown
Trampled and grinded
Down into the ground
I am a tear,
Rolling down your face
I am a dream,
Lost in space
I am a secret,
A promise,
A swear,
Watching from afar,
I have not a care
I am a hope,
A small streak of light
I am a tragedy,
Wandering in the night
I am a wish
A small child's prayer,
Overcome by evil,
It's so unfair.
Copyright ©
Seans_Girl
... [
2004-06-16 23:56:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What I am
(User Rating: 1 )
by betty on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 12:00:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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That was really a great expression. A lot of talent in your work. Keep writing and don't forget to take old poems, revise them and make them even better.
That's what one of my profs told me, it works wonders! |
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Re: What I am
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cole on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 12:20:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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In thanks for your comments on my poem, Inside, I have come to comment upon one of your works. This was new and had few reads so I thought I'd give it a look.
It's pretty good, I mean, really good. Um, the rhymes really worked in this poem except for one that seemed sort of akward. I just want to warn you not to become too dependant on rhymes. Poetry is still poetry without them. I didn't look at your other poems, so this might be the only one that rhymes. Well, I'm kind of rambling so I'll just end this with a Good Job!!! |
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Re: What I am
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 01:08:31 AM AEST
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wonderful
michelle |
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Re: What I am
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:15:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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trully brialliant,
pixie xx |
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