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Inside
Contributed by
Cole
on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 11:28:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
In a perfect neighborhood,
Where the trimmed and gardened yards
Are lined with picket fences,
Rests a house, matching all the others
Identically in appearance,
But forced to subdue the differences of
Its internal collision
So as not to upset a prestigious name.
It’s not the kind of thing
You’d see by looking through the windows,
Windows that are always covered by Venetian blinds
To match the other houses,
And you won’t hear it
By listening at the front door.
It’s the kind of thing you only know
After you’ve lived there
Or known someone who has.
It’s the kind of thing that hides inside
Because it’s scared that if the door is opened
In hopes of finding solutions
The house won’t match the others anymore.
Copyright ©
Cole
... [
2004-06-16 23:28:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 11:49:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| excellent write. I like the subtle tone of it, and how it so eloquently and simply it expresses our outer facades hiding our true selves just so we can keep our good name. Great job! |
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Re: Inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by Seans_Girl on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 11:59:29 PM AEST
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Very well written and unique. I liked it a lot. I look forward to reading more of your poetry.
*~Natalie*~ |
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Re: Inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 12:08:06 AM AEST
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Very well-penned! You have an excellent way of presenting this. Keep it up!
Andrew |
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Re: Inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 12:56:43 AM AEST
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nicely done lets the mind wander through this
michelle |
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Re: Inside
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 07:10:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Oh! So very many will be able to relate to this... myself included. The secret inside the house is not revealed here- nor does it need to be... leaving it an unanswered question does much for this piece - it makes the reader wonder about it or let's them fill in the blank from their own personal experience. The secret becomes larger in the poem because it is not revealed - exactly, I think, as you are saying it is for the people in the house.
Thought provoking and powerful... Very well done! |
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