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An Ending to Every Beginning
Contributed by
srugglingyoungster
on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 10:55:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Beautiful death,
wonderful ending,
Complete for the
miserable beginning.
A painful bite out of life
ended my chance
for happiness.
Not that i needed it anyways!
I cut myself so many times,
feeling no such regret,
still dont,
and im dead.
I've tried to be open,
to satisfy everyone,
but none cared.
So i had to end this
death sentencing Nightmare!
Copyright ©
srugglingyoungster
... [
2004-06-16 22:55:58] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: An Ending to Every Beginning
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 05:31:57 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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wow,
i like this one cuz it was,
in a way,
thought-provoking...
to me, the poem had a sorta rushed effect,
which, if you intended it for the reader to have the impression that you decided this in a fleeting moment, then you've done it perfectly here,
and if not, you might want to work on making it a bit more detailed with a slower pace too,
so that maybe we could further fully understand the situation...
but maybe i'm wrong so who knows?
that's just what i think...
but other than that, again, i loved the flow,
and also it was short and quite to the point, which is good since i don't particularly favour redundancy...
great work!
keep 'em coming !!!
_.:'~Katie~':._ |
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