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Dear Lie
Contributed by
SweetRhythm
on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 09:00:37 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
You think your clever and your so smart
Well I think its ridiculous because you don't even have a heart
Theres nothing sincere about your meaning
Your really thoughtless and quite revealing
You think that you can hide behind your name
You stand there 'shameless' as 'bold' as fame
For others it would be easy, I would just say get a new look
But for you, your just impossible you don't even play by the book
Your not even human
If you are, you certainly have no feeling
Because everthing you do is so demeaning
So for you, all I have to say
Is Wake-Up-Wake-Up
Just let truth lead the way
Copyright ©
SweetRhythm
... [
2004-06-16 09:00:37] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dear Lie
(User Rating: 1 ) by frejya on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 09:25:49 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i see some flaws here if u dont mind me sharing it with you but it wud be helpfull if u keep the count of ur syllables n chk ur rythm n btw its you're n not your
anyways i like the theme n lyrics
nice poem
me |
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Re: Dear Lie
(User Rating: 1 ) by LiquidChaos on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 11:00:35 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hmmm....you havn't by any chance been listening to the Lostprophets lately have you? They have a song that goes...
So are we lost or do we know
Which direction we should go?
Sit around and wait for
Someone to take our hand
And lead the way.
Cause every day we're getting older
And every day we all grow colder.
We're sick of waiting for our answers.
Wake up
Wake up
Wake up
I'm so tired of waiting....
blah blah. Anyways your poem reminded me of that song. Nice write...just some rhythmical errors but good overall! |
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Re: Dear Lie
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 11:50:33 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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good poem, keep em coming
pixie xx |
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Re: Dear Lie
(User Rating: 1 ) by DragonLuvSong on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 09:28:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i like the idea and the content, but i think it could flow better, i think it is on the road to being its very best. |
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