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Starlit Snow
Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:22:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
didactic
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And all around the diamonds danced
Beneath the breeze in siren’s stance
A brittle dream by frost enhanced
In penchant pining’s fair perchance
He gazed upon the moonlit, vast
Revolving realm of rainbow’s pass
He watched the winters wander past
A world beyond the looking glass
Yet from within the fallen pine
A whispered, crackling flame reminds
In hope’s champagne and wish’s wine
An ember’s tale of left-behinds
“Seek thee hearth out as thee may
Seek thy night but lose each day
If ever sought-out words betray
A smold'ring flame burns timeless gray.”
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2004-06-15 15:22:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by hooray_its_jen on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:31:33 PM AEST
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WOW....I am SO putting this in the 'best poem of the day' forum! You deserved it! Awesome write, my friend! Absolutely amazing!
Blessings
Love, Jenna |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:45:46 PM AEST
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Phenomenal! I am.... overwhelmed by this piece!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh! I'm so glad Jenna led me here via the 'best poems' forum! It would have been a shame to miss something as beautiful as this!!!!
INCREDIBLY well done!
- SNM |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:48:57 PM AEST
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this is beautiful, well done to you 5/5
pixie xx |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 04:11:57 PM AEST
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*Claps*
Bravo JJ.
Very well done.
I see nothing wrong with it.
Beautiful write man. Absolutely beautiful. |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 04:36:55 PM AEST
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Great piece! Very eloquent. And I like the last part.
Excellent work.
Andrew |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 05:09:06 PM AEST
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| I am very impressed with this poem. Your words were well thought out. Thanks for a great write. |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 05:45:18 PM AEST
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This is rhymed at-ease, and like Jeff said; 'There's nothing wrong with it'.
I'm still wondering if timelessness should really be coloured gray, but the more I read it, the more it seems to fit, as is the norm with many components of your works.
The first stanza was beyond critique. It was a swirling enchantment before my eyes.
And I also caught this in the Best Poem forum. Well done. Inspiring as always. |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 07:31:39 PM AEST
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When I read this type of poetry I simply melt into the poem. It is so perfectly executed each and every line that I could read it forever and not grow tired of it.
I just found this one to be amazing.
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by brigitte7735 on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 10:22:11 PM AEST
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I have my own ideas of what this means....
Always,
Vanessa ( 090404 ) |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 07:47:27 AM AEST
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And thus I sat, mouth agape, mind entranced and mouth forming words of jealousy...
"In hope’s champagne and wish’s wine
An ember’s tale of left-behinds"
Those may be the two most beautiful lines ever written, by you or by anybody. The meaning is so deep and multi-tiered that only the author himself will ever know the complete story...but I see so much depth here, and a gauntlet of extreme emotions.
Enrapturing from start to finish, I shall enjoy re-reading this one many times over, trying to unearth even more of the meaning embedded within.
Coffin sealed and buried alive,
-V.S. ( 090404 )
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th June 2004 @ 08:12:37 PM AEST
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This is exquisitely enchanting. Thanks to Jenna I was sent to read this sparkling jewel.
Rita |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 @ 03:52:49 AM AEST
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*smiles*
'Tis beautiful, but I believe I've already told you that.
And, as I *also* told you :P, I'll certainly not tell you what it means to ME . . . but rest assured it held meaning. Maybe I'll tell you later :P . . .
*you know what I want to say here but won't*
--Nora |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by BrandySwanson on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 05:52:10 AM AEST
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wow what a master-piece i enjoyed it. have you ever thought about being published? your golden pen flows so well in this poem. wonderfully written.
Brandy |
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Re: Starlit Snow
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lee on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 12:46:02 PM AEST
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What a great poem!
Says the Surreal Eel y'know Feel.
Captures great imagery and the
telling beauty of poetry.
Well done! |
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