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Shell Of Amour.
Contributed by
deathdrop
on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 02:05:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Costume and amour, makes this man.
But with no parts calmer, beneath lies a frightened lad.
He won’t ever face up to what he really is,
But beneath this warrior, lies a crying child in the mist.
Screaming and distressed.
He is broken and upset.
Yet no one’s here.
To free him of his mess.
The shadows cling to him, bringing pain.
The darkness consumes him, leaving a stain.
Under it all he prays to be set free.
But all the while he knows nothing is what it seems.
And all his cries will just add to his bad dreams.
So In the end, he lives for the pain.
Because he know that if he fights back, quicker,
It will eat him away.
Copyright ©
deathdrop
... [
2004-06-15 14:05:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Shell Of Amour.
(User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 07:01:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I know someone exactly like your poem. My brother! Poem is wonderfully descriptive with honesty as a foundation. The ending left me wanting a bit more, the last line just wasn't strong enough for me. But the body of the poem makes up for it. Nicely done.
Laurie |
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Re: Shell Of Amour.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 11:23:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write. |
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Re: Shell Of Amour.
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadclown on
Thursday, 13th July 2006 @ 08:18:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Liked the idea of you writing about someone struggling to be something they are not really comfortable with. The start had potential to be a good write but it seemed kind of rushed at the end.Would've liked to have read more about this boy |
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