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desperate girl
Contributed by
betty
on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 09:46:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
AmericanTragedy
|
Every three months
a desperate switch
to find The One
to fill your void
making you worthy
another failed attempt
to find a mind
less empty
than your eyes
but you leave them
with something
plant a seed inside
to grow swiftly
consuming
the insignificant
life inside.
Copyright ©
betty
... [
2004-06-14 21:46:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Katie2008 on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 09:58:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I like your poem, however I could relate it more to people then I could American Tragedy. It was very well written
Katie |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 10:21:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write. |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 12:27:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I DIDN'T LIKE IT! IT WASN'T THAT GOOD!! WELL,I SHOULD HONESTLY SAY THAT THE REAL TRUTH IS.....I LOVED IT & IT WAS GREAT!!! IT WAS WRITTEN REALLY WELL & ITS MEANING DOES SOAK THROUGH!!!! SO I SAY YOU'VE MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR PUTTING THEM UP FOR ALL OF US TO READ!!!!! KEEP IT UP!!!!!!
DAN!!!!!!! |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by JT on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 06:50:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great write. gets the mind ticking over.
keep em coming
-jt- |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by aernby on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 07:11:53 AM AEST
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betty,
This is a fine write.
It flows flows well, with few if any unnecessary words.
One observation you use no punctuation, question: does this impede communication with the reader?
Well done! |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by InnerBeautyQueen on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 10:16:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| !!! very good |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 10:47:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
wow! I liked this one a lot...lots of feeling and emotion making it a powerful piece for all to remember!!! keep up the good work...
much love,
Dani |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 11:20:57 PM AEST
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Very nice write and it flows wonderfully.
~Kris~ |
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Re: desperate girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 08:37:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great write. And I get a feeling from it. But what are you talking 'bout? If you have the time. |
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