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Just Wanting
Contributed by
Luinil
on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 01:48:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Just five more minutes in front of the screen
Just one more cookie before dinner
Just three more laps around the neighborhood
Just seven more days till the end of school
Just five more pages before the bell
Just one more drink after today
Just three more tears fall for you
Just seven more hours till the end of the year
Just five more days before the weekend
Just one more minute till the meeting is over
Just three more dollars to pay for the car
Just seven more years till the end of my career
Just five more minutes before you go
Just one more rose to make you smile
Just three more phone calls before your turn
Just seven more steps till the end of us
Just five more breaths to call your name
Just one more chance to try again
Just three more words to say to you
Just seven more seconds till the end of me
Copyright ©
Luinil
... [
2004-06-14 13:48:25] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Just Wanting
(User Rating: 1 ) by Princesaazul16 on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 02:00:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Nice. I liked it. It's different from what I usually read, but I was glad to read it. Nice write, keep up the good work. Hope to hear more.
~Stace~ |
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Re: Just Wanting
(User Rating: 1 ) by xxbreathlessx on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 02:31:40 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i liked it, it was a unique style of writing and thts wut makes it good, i wasnt excpecting the ending "just seven more seconds till the end of me", which made it better...i mean not tht theres 7 more seconds juss the suprise ending...ok i`ll shut up now.. |
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Re: Just Wanting
(User Rating: 1 ) by fairy-of-ice on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 10:46:25 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very thought provoking and yeh different. well written, i enjoyed this poem a lot so thanks for the read! |
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