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I cried today.
Contributed by
Little_Miss_Magic
on
Wednesday, 16th October 2002 @ 09:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I cried one tear – that’s all – only one.
I cried because, well, because…
I was crying.
Inside.
The pain of a happy past is far greater
than that of a past rent with destruction.
Who has more to look forward to
at the start of each new day?
The sun is bright and beautiful to those
who have known only darkness and shadow.
I, for one, have seen heaven’s luster,
and the sunlight seems dull and depressing.
I am crying again, or I should say still,
because while the tear has dried from my face
my chest still aches with the uncertainty of this new life,
“brimming with promise,” or so they say,
yet devoid of hope.
A cherished past is a burden like no other.
What if now I can become no more than I was before?
My days up to now are suddenly rich but meaningless,
Perfect but Over.
As each Texas sun dawns on each new day, I aspire once more
to be great, to be bold, to be remembered, to Live.
And as each Texas sun fades behind a hand-painted curtain of dusk,
I curl clenched in the darkness and
try to sleep, try to forget, try to ignore…
the dreams go unrealized.
The opportunities unseen or unseized.
The hope… lost, as usual, as always.
Awake, always awake, I know I need catharsis
Something anything please… please.
Take me back.
I have finally characterized my pain – it is loneliness.
Loneliness, like yet unlike anything I’ve known.
More sharp, more bitter, more constant.
I lie to myself.
I reason that it has to hurt less at certain times –
It only hurts sometimes, it only hurts most of the time.
It only hurts in the dark, or in sunlight,
or when the wind blows through my hair.
It only hurts when I’m lost in the silence
or when my voice is drowned in the roar of a crowd.
It only hurts when I think…
It only hurts when I breathe…
It only hurts always.
I took 2 sleeping pills yesterday.
Maybe, today I will take 3.
Copyright ©
Little_Miss_Magic
... [
2002-10-16 21:00:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I cried today.
(User Rating: 1 ) by lost_word on
Sunday, 10th November 2002 @ 02:40:13 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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really deep and meaningful, i know what its like to lie to yourself and try an block out what u dont want 2 see. |
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