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END
Contributed by
deadbloodyrose
on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 12:58:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
laying on my temporary bed, given to me because I'm not loved by my family
terrible stings of pain, depressiong controlling my every thought, every move
wanting so bad to be in the house I'll live in until my 19th birthday
people in my life keep changing daily, getting on my nerves, missing them so badly
constant thoughts of how i hate myself, hate the way i act, way i look
all my inner problems conusme me, wont let me go pulling me under
nobody understand me, no one is here to help me, get me through
i want all of this to be over move on to where i'm sposed to be
i'm trapped the world keeps moving without me, won't let me escape
i crawl into the hidden space underneath the window seat
pull out my sharp pocket knife from its secret place
i drag the blade across my ankle, not making an incision
forcefully i shove the knife inside watching blood squirt all over
dragging the blade up my leg making sure that its deep
slowly i reach from my opposite pant leg, pulling it up
tears forming in my eyes, blood flowing all over, soaking
lil slashes making x's on my leg, lil slots for blood to escape
repeated on the other side, looks like designs on pants
deep dark blood red, no sign of my fat white legs at all
next i move onto my target, the biggest thing on my bdoy
i make a slice on the top of my gut then cut all the way around
liquid streams out of the outlining of the center of my fat
my body is starting to get weak from the loss of blood, i keep going
riase the knife back up to the outline and rip away, pain in my mind
slash off all the fat that brings me down so much, i can't stand it
dying this way will take a while, i dont want that i want it now
i have a small mirror and light with me that i pull out quickly
can see my refleftion, its pain, can't see happiness or sorrow
watching what im doing in the mirror i begin to write
write with blood on my neck spelling out the most painful word
family, something i've never had throughout my life
i make sure that when my body is found it will be written perfectly for them
so everybody knows the biggest reason i plan to end my life
blood flows and gushes from the painful words that have been carved into me
i press the blade against my lips and kiss it sweetly and gently my last kiss
i lay it next to me, lay as flat out as i can, i close my sleepy eyes
eventually my heartbeat stops, my pain and suffering is over finally
i've taken my last breaths, my least tears have been shed from my dry eyes
my life comes to an end as im curled up underneath a window in a shelter
Copyright ©
deadbloodyrose
... [
2004-06-14 00:58:16] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: END
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 03:11:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*gasps*
*opens mouth in an attempt to speak*
*fails miserably*
so powerful yet so heartbreaking!
It just tore me apart!
I can't explain how much this moved me
I am like in love with this poem.
It's got an immeasurable amount of meaning behind the words and it speaks the truth about family...
this moved me to tears i can tell you that.
Brilliant poem!
Keep it up!
Remember, you'll always have friends around you, and you can always turn to me if needed. I'll be glad to help...
13 year old girl shocked at the pure brilliance of this poem,
_.:'~Katie~':._ |
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Re: END
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 08:36:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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gosh I don't know what to say??? this is so damn emotional, powerful,sad, touching, and wow,
pixie xx |
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Re: END
(User Rating: 1 ) by MLCstar on
Sunday, 27th June 2004 @ 03:10:03 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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As one who has too been suicidal, I can sympathize with you on this, at least partly. I know that everyone's reasons for suicide are different and anyone thinking they know how the person feels exactly is flattering themselves. I was reminded of the time in my life when my pain and disgust at myself and others was almost too much to bear. I also wrote a poem on that topic. It's called 'Painful Experience' and it is under Life Poetry. |
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