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don't ask , don't tell
Contributed by
betty
on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 02:40:36 AM in AEST
Topic:
AmericanTragedy
|
Awaken to the sounds of your illness
lungs crackle head pounding
Your infection spreads on contact
the most deadly by far
life moves at the speed of sound
people rushing all around
no mention of the disease
that rots you from inside
The first phase:
DENIAL, how admirable
you proceed without caution
not my life
not my choice
manslaughter in the first degree
of your sickeness
insanity your plea
Nothing is fair
not even you
constructing your bed of decay
can save the lies binding you
from death knocking on the door
my acceptance your only savior
Copyright ©
betty
... [
2004-06-13 02:40:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: don't ask , don't tell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 05:26:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| bloody good!! not at all what i expected - really sound write |
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Re: don't ask , don't tell
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 10:29:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Alright, this is the second poem I've read by you and I'm already definitely a fan. In this one I'm proven right about your knack for phrasing things in such an interesting, different way . . . your style is different from any other I've ever seen.
Just one thing-- usually, I wouldn't mention this, but as it says on your account page that you're looking for honest feedback, etc., and because your poetry (or what I've seen of it so far) is SO good that even the tiniest flaw in it seems to stand out, I figure I'll mention it: just be sorta careful of your spelling, please . . . that's about the only flaw in this one and it slightly detracted from an otherwise excellent poem.
Okay, off to read more.
--Nora |
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Re: don't ask , don't tell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 11:06:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is the first of your's I’ve read and I like it lots, its very nice. I'm glad I checked out your writing, I’ll look at more of yours definitely.
~Kris~ |
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Re: don't ask , don't tell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 05:43:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this one is my favorite...and I love it I like the wording I like the phrasing I read this one 3 times...keep it up...
much love,
Dani |
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Re: don't ask , don't tell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 08:59:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Great poem. It's sad how some people are to scared to find themself that they take others with them. Worse is those sorry jerks taking people with them because they don't want to go alone.
I like your style. Take care |
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