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Nemesis
Contributed by
Eve
on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 06:45:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
On astral plains; Fate dances
With the world as her playground.
Different moves and circumstances
A new game of chess going around.
Poisoned minds and broken hearts
Deceit working close with discord.
Life simply demands another restart
A chance for vengeance on all it abhorred.
Soldier on, mindless entity
Your existance is no longer your own.
Expect not an ounce more amity
You and your world have been overthrown.
A slave to all, mouse to lion
You've no choice but to succumb.
Only black space on the belt of Orion
Give yourself to Fate's alluvium.
For she dances; naught but a thief
Proof to keep an enemy closer than a friend
Snatching and twisting your every belief
Leaving no passage in which to transcend.
Copyright ©
Eve
... [
2004-06-12 18:45:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nemesis
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 07:39:30 PM AEST
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| wow...me out of all people...i actually understood tht, at least i think i did, it was beautifully written ..i really liked it great job.. |
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Re: Nemesis
(User Rating: 1 )
by ripshark on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 08:14:37 PM AEST
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| well, I don't normally post comments of praise, lest comments at all but I thought that this poem really deserved a comment at the least. To tell the truth, it seems a lot like some of my poems, in th sense that nobody understands them, but I thought this was a very well ochastrated philosophical stance on the condition of the world around us and is simply a reflection of the truth, and the fact the most people go through their lives unthinking. Very nice piece of poety there Eve. |
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Re: Nemesis
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 08:24:32 PM AEST
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This is awesome and yes, I understood.
great job! |
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Re: Nemesis
(User Rating: 1 )
by desire on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 08:59:41 PM AEST
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| 5 for a great write and yes! i undestood it, it was beautifully written as well..line for line was great |
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Re: Nemesis
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 10:00:23 PM AEST
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Well... I'll say I understand something of this but will stop short of suggesting that I know fully what was in your mind as you wrote it. Frankly, I suspect there's more there than meets the eye - more than any of us could fully appreciate without benefit of your insight. Personally... that's exactly how I like it.
This is absolutely fabulous in so many ways. I'm very impressed and will most definately be reading more of your work! Awesome write! |
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Re: Nemesis
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 10:15:35 PM AEST
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. . . okay, I've tried to comment over 10 times and each time it says something like fatal error: maximum execution time of 30 seconds has been exceeded, etc, etc, etc . . . meh.
Anyhow, maybe this one will go through, as the original comment is rather long (maybe that was it).
Well, just wanted to say I love this poem and yours is truly the silver (better than golden, IMHO) pen . . . and if this works (or if it doesn't, actually) I'll PM you my original, more indepth comment. Meh.
-Nora |
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Re: Nemesis
(User Rating: 1 )
by brigitte7735 on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 10:33:37 PM AEST
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I lay myself at your exquisite feet
Vanessa ( 090404 ) |
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