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SeLfIsH
Contributed by
creed
on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 07:40:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I'll wear your shirt
pretend you're here
Try to keep ahold of you
Try not to lose you
Though I already have
I've watched everyone I love leave me alone
I'm tired of that
I'd rather hold on to everyone I love
But that would be
Selfish of me
I have to let them go
It's part of life
But God, why does my life have to suck
so bad?
Copyright ©
creed
... [
2004-06-10 19:40:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by AutomaticTLC on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 07:56:14 PM AEST
(User
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a Message)
|
| It was OK. Wasn't the best it could be. Looks like you didn't spend too long on it. I gave it a 2. KEEP TRYING! |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 08:04:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Life hurts so that when faced with the same situation on the flip side that we won't hurt others. This is a hard answer even for me to accept sometimes. |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 08:20:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| I like this alot, short and full of emotions I know oh to well.... good write look foward to more. A+++ |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by ltv on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 09:14:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like the way it starts, the feeling of it. You lose it towards the end though. You explain instead of paint the picture. |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by creed on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 10:00:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| yeah, i do agree that when it gets closer to the end I just kind of explained it instead of painted it. but i wrote this at 3:00 in the morning and i was almost asleep so its gonna suck. |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by TaintedOptomist on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 10:08:05 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| yes obviously not your best work but i understand it to a point.good work love. |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 05:50:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Good poem, I have never read any from you before,
keep em coming
Pixie xx |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 04:46:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i genuinely like this piece very honest and after all this is what poetry should be about!! |
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Re: SeLfIsH
(User Rating: 1 )
by creed on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 07:19:21 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| thanks. its always nice to have people like your poems. |
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