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Untitled
Contributed by
olivetreedove
on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 12:13:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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I only did so much as stare
Upon the crown of nightdark hair,
And seeing there that all was allowed to, I left him wanting more.
The clockbell struck, I made my haste,
But leaving him only a taste
Of what would come, his mind, it raced, it raced and left him wanting more.
And longer on that shore I stayed,
While my heart willingly obeyed
His silent command, from his eyes which play with light forevermore.
I only did so much as stare
Upon the crown of nightdark hair,
And captured there as now I was, I'll stay with him forevermore.
Copyright ©
olivetreedove
... [
2004-06-10 12:13:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sirena_Degana on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 12:38:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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If i wrote this poem i would call it Cinderella...it just has the air of a cinderella story....what made me think it should be called that is this one part...
The clockbell struck, I made my haste,
But leaving him only a taste
Just a suggestion
Blessed Be!!!
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 12:52:32 PM AEST
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I am not really good on titles, myself. But I liked that it was "untitled" because you never know what to expect when you open the page.
I really liked the romanticism in this,and even had a touch of Poe sound to it. A job well done!
Angel always...godspeed...joni |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by GeorgeJamesDelgado on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 12:56:22 PM AEST
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Meant to be
GeorgeJamesDelgado |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 08:47:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Title idea:
"Encaptured Stares"
I also thought the poem had a cinderella/fairytale quality to it and enjoyed it immensely.
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