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one night
Contributed by
RockNwhls
on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 09:53:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
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just to have one night
even if it isn't right
touch, taste and sound
blood begins to pound
waves of heat throughout
mists of scent surround
shards of flame piercing,
two hearts beating
soft and hard, slip and slide
mingled breath, moan and sigh
entangled pieces
it never ceases.
crescendo reached,
dreaming peaked.
filter down,
return to ground.
Copyright ©
RockNwhls
... [
2004-06-10 09:53:11] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: one night
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 09:58:28 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Nice job. I thought this was well done. |
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Re: one night
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jackman on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 10:01:15 AM AEST (User
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a lovely little ode to one night stands, short and sweet like the subject matter |
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Re: one night
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 10:24:30 AM AEST (User
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Ok... yeh... this is a bit more suggestive than your last one. Especially the third verse.
This is well constructed, flows nicely. I like it an awful lot (hmmmm... should I feel guilty for that?). Nicely done!
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Re: one night
(User Rating: 1 ) by eatfresh22 on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 10:42:47 AM AEST (User
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Hmmm...I found the second line interesting. To know that you are doing wrong, but to do it anyway. For the moment, there'd be bliss, I'm sure, but the guilt and remorse would soon overcome. Well written, though.
~Carrie~ |
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