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Past the empty salt beds and across the synapse
Contributed by
rhei76
on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 09:22:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I can find you. I can leave. I can remember
like a dream.
I have found you. Then I left. I can
remember but won't let it breathe.
You were soft. you were beautiful. With
your red hair, and that voice that sank into
me. you were everything until that day...
One time I found. One time it looked like a
picture, I've held only with the dead.
I remember, but don't want to dream. I
remember but I don't want to see...
I found you, but you won't leave. Every
other day coming to me in my dreams.
I would love to tell you just to sift the
seams. I would love to tell you but I see...
And something weren't ment to breathe.
By Blackhaven Ritzuell
Copyright ©
rhei76
... [
2004-06-10 09:22:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Past the empty salt beds and across the synapse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 12:30:11 PM AEST
(User
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a Message)
|
This has an unrequited love feel to it. Or maybe loving someone and they have moved on which is so very painful.
I followed it well until I got to your last line and I got somewhat confused by what you meant in closing.
I enjoyed reading this one. |
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Re: Past the empty salt beds and across the synapse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Snake on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 03:56:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem is full of longing, it seems...something that I feel has been left out of or forgotten in modern poetry.... the technique is great.. |
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Re: Past the empty salt beds and across the synapse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Snake on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 03:56:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem is full of longing, it seems...something that I feel has been left out of or forgotten in modern poetry.... the technique is great.. |
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Re: Past the empty salt beds and across the synapse
(User Rating: 1 )
by Brians_Sweety on
Sunday, 4th July 2004 @ 04:03:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great poem it is very uniqe and capturing thanx for sharing!!
Stephanie |
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Re: Past the empty salt beds and across the synapse
(User Rating: 1 )
by buchi on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 08:46:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Its about letting go...a dilemma..very poetic...you are excellent in your choice of words and flow.... |
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