|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Lies Within
Contributed by
WoodyMc44
on
Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 03:00:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Lies Within
If only there was a time machine
I’d wade through memories, stop where it seemed
That life was gentle, warm and kind
When the troubles of life were not on my mind.
I’d gaze at the mountains, the stars, the sky,
And know in my heart there’s a reason why.
See now I know God placed them for me
Teaching his power and his love sets us free.
I would cherish the flowers, not just walk by
Pay closer attention, the clouds in the sky.
I’d not listen to others who had such great plans
I’d follow my heart and Gods guiding hand.
The old man on the park bench that said hello
I think now I’d stop, if only to show.
That I can return kindness no matter the age
I’ll be him with the turn of a page.
I’d spend more time with family you see,
Instead of providing their wants more then needs.
These simple things if we understand
We would all enjoy a happier land.
Sometimes its good to stop and look back
And realize things in life that we lack.
But starting over can be only a dream,
For alas, there is no time machine.
Could it be the answer is something so small?
If for some things in life we refuse to fall.
Finding that time where we’d like to begin,
Means maybe the answer lies within.
Woody McDaniel
Copy write 2003
Copyright ©
WoodyMc44
... [
2004-06-09 15:00:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Lies Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 03:31:36 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is quite nice, Woody. My favorite part:
The old man on the park bench that said hello
I think now I’d stop, if only to show.
That I can return kindness no matter the age
I’ll be him with the turn of a page.
The last line in particular got me. The entire piece is well structure... and dare I say, thought provoking! And... I hope you're open to suggestions, because I'm about to make a tiny one --- I'd remove the comma from the cloud line and replace it with "to"... you may have intended two different thoughts there, but I thing it flows better when tied together.
I enjoyed this... and I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!
|
|
|
Re: Lies Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 11:57:31 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| excellent write. =] |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
