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Her Night Walk

Contributed by InnerBeautyQueen on Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 02:12:20 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

The pretty one walked off of her shelf and stepped onto the silver cloud, hoping that she was not to loud, she opened her eyes to the night.

Engulfed in fear that lingered near, her steps were quick and nimble. And as she flew the cold did, too, until she started to tremble.

And at her feet, the water did meet, and at her palms as well. As sweat dripped down, she started to drown, in the fright that she felt was coming.

But slowly, so slowly, she did arrive, to her lonely destination. And as all came clear, she suddenly sneered, at her great procrastination.

She set eyes on his face and didn't make haste, and said what she came to say. Her words so clear, as heard by his ears, rang out in starlight as this;

I'm standing on the brink of breaking, so you can see my life's for taking.
Forever lonely, forever aching, I'm longing for you near.

I know the assumptions their probably making,
but I promise, dear, I am not faking
and I'm needing you to start forsaking
these wounds that you now have healed.

Copyright © InnerBeautyQueen ... [ 2004-06-09 02:12:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Her Night Walk (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 02:36:48 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Compelling and well written. Only somehow, the tone of the poem seems to have changed in those words of the girl at the end. As if it picked up meaning then that wasn't there before. Perhaps it was asking for another poem for itself?
Just a niggling detail that my mind suggested. It doesn't detract from this though.
Keep it up!
Andrew

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