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dead (life is my suicide)

Contributed by Cancer on Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 11:47:14 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



I’ve swallowed pill after pill
until my mind became an abstract thought
in the mind of another
another who had stolen my body
until I was "able" (forced) to return

I’ve blown off my head
with the bullet of my hatred
and watched with spectral eyes
as memories and secret thoughts
stained the wall like finger paint

I fell through the floor of Coma
to walk amongst the dead
I strolled through fields so colorless
that the Void beyond looked like a rainbow
and woke to find my best years behind me

emotional Cancer ravaged me
until each feeling that I swore I felt
was buried, unmourned
next to every broken heart I feigned
and though I wanted to cry
I never could

I’ve drowned myself in liquor and tears
and love too soon forgotten
only to wash ashore
bloated and blue
and wake to the discomfort
of sand on my tongue
(it tastes just like ashes)

(I want to show you my darkness
I want to show you my death
just hold my hand and trust me
and trade your breath for sight
I’ll show you Beyond
I’ll show you everything
just let me see you smile once more
because you'll never smile again)

eaten alive by the flames of fury
my ashes fell to chance
scattered by the Winds of Promised Change
that always fall short of their goal
my smoldering remains sparked wars and divorce
and the ever unabsent scorn of your god

I’ve tasted sweet death
I have quaffed it like wine
each personal demise has left it's mark
I walk, the grave's unwanted lover,
a pointless zombie hungry for Naught
(a fly in the pudding)
unhuman error
cipher

so clear now
as it always becomes
when all logic is exhausted
dead all along
my heartbeat is it's own proof
each self-destruction returns me here
life is my suicide

(this is my hell
there is no exit
and I will burn
forever)




Copyright © Cancer ... [ 2004-06-08 23:47:14]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: dead (life is my suicide) (User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 02:51:07 AM AEST
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wow, I loved that...one of the most powerful writes I have read on this site....I loved the emotion and feeling that made it a masterpiece...I loved it keep it up andkeep it coming...
read and comment my stuff if you want....I'd love to hear what you think....
much love,
Dani


Re: dead (life is my suicide) (User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 06:38:54 AM AEST
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Your imagery is amazing! The second stanza really grabbed me, but then again, the whole thing is absolutely brilliant!! I really think you have a flair for the dark write but I hope that your frame of mind improves. It's not nice to live in hell on earth. :O) I can empathize with this. I've been there. But I could never, ever put it as brilliantly as you did! Kudos and write on!
Thumps ; 0 )


Re: dead (life is my suicide) (User Rating: 1 )
by brigitte7735 on Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 02:39:01 PM AEST
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This is addicting...

"next to every broken heart I feigned"

Im so beyond impressed

Vanessa (090404)


Re: dead (life is my suicide) (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 04:22:04 PM AEST
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wow buddy so sad and emotional I think u just wripped yourself open and showed us all the pain that u bare inside. I don't know what to say so I'll just say that I hope we can chat soon.

Bobo (Joel)




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