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The Voices
Contributed by
pixie
on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 12:03:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
They don’t speak to me anymore,
As my mind is now a firmly closed door,
It was once wide open for demons climbing inside,
But I knew I would cast them out for good, I had a lot of time to bide.
They used to keep me awake all through the night,
It hurt and I bled cerebrally when they’d taken a bite,
They paid me a visit and sat next to me on the bed,
I was sure they were real and not just a projection from inside my head.
I couldn’t tell people that I heard voices,
That inside my brain lived scary noises,
But in the end I had to speak of my uninvited guests,
And to go into a Psychiatric hospital is where was thought best.
I now no longer have these mind intrusions,
Who’d have though that so much fright could come from an illusion,
They used to take great pleasure in whispering my name,
Not once but over and over again.
The voices were neither male or female,
I’d never heard anything before on this kind of scale
They made me too scared to close my eyes,
I am so glad the voices have finally said their goodbyes.
Copyright ©
pixie
... [
2004-06-08 12:03:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Voices
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 12:14:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I have enjoyed several of your poems the last few days, and I thought I ought to comment..
Your poems are filled with emotion, and you are able to express youself well.
I think it would become even stronger if you tighten up your lines. Sometimes they get wordy, and I think they don't need to. It would give them more power without the extras.
Nice work. |
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Re: The Voices
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 03:22:37 PM AEST
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| I think i was one of the first to read your poems, and as you could tell lol, i knew you had a talent. Im a big fan :) i enjoy your poetry very much. x |
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Re: The Voices
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 05:32:26 PM AEST
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| some of it is wordy. but otherwise it's good dark poetry |
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Re: The Voices
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 07:07:54 PM AEST
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Excellent write. I could feel the words in this one. As I have felt deeply--- similar.
Excellent Write.
Whisper |
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Re: The Voices
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cursed_Witch on
Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 11:41:27 AM AEST
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Hey pixie, thats a really nice write, i have written something close to it once.. but anyway im sure u get all those good comments, and i hope ull take mine as a good one... in my opinion everything was perfect in ur poem, u were going slow explaining details, but then in the end its like u had to cut it... u suddenly talked about goodbyes..... and i felt somethign missing there, like i dont know about others, but i felt like u should have told us how those demons dissapeared!
Hope u get what i mean
Take care and keep writing
Cursed_Witch |
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Re: The Voices
(User Rating: 1 )
by MDodgen on
Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 11:41:52 AM AEST
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| i liked this poem, it puts you there with you. nice imagery and rhyme. good job |
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