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Before White came Black
Contributed by
TheSchroedmeister
on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 01:09:45 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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Before White came Black
Came green
Came blue
Came you
Came me
Came death,
You see
Came life
Again
Came breath
And
Sin gave Hope
A stare
Who went upstairs
To get a gun
To shoot
The rain
Which stopped
Its fall,
A breathless bawl
That
Someone heard,
How quite absurd
For rain to cry
For rain to cry
Then came White
Copyright ©
TheSchroedmeister
... [
2004-06-08 01:09:45] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 02:16:26 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Whoa! Schroed...This was crazy good. In my head it was like really fast and really psychotic. Kind of like a voice was saying it all to me. Hell, I may just be crazy. But I loved it. This was awesome. Thank you! Thank you!
Lindsey |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 04:23:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I adored the progression backwards to the beginning - and from 'Again' to 'The Rain' was something sublime. I found your overall theme as original as ever, and as interesting as you could ever be in your submissions.
Thoroughly enjoyable!
It delights me to find you've posted again.
Keep writing. |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 11:24:52 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love the way you write, I love how I get so caught up in the momentum that I lose myself.
Thanks, nice work. |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 11:26:39 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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loved this! so very interestingly written. it was truely amazing.
Arden |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by Overstated on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 06:09:53 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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nicely written very unusal piece! well done!! |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by JennyFruFru on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 10:04:56 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow this is very unique in itself but paints and nice picture.. and how true it is since white is the combination of all colors... its very deep :) |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by blueheart on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 11:34:46 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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The poem flowed amazingly well.
I liked this one a lot.
Great write. |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 11:57:40 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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exquisite, i simply love this poem:) hugs n' love, nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 01:57:37 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is absolutely dynamic! Shoot the rain.... gah! it's sheer perfection in creative thought! This entire piece sings to me. Sings yes... with a truly unique voice and a thump, thump, thump of an obvious beat.
How quite absurd
For rain to cry
For rain to cry
Then came White
I am utterly blown away. Thanks for the wild ride! This was so good, it leaves me feeling emotional without knowing why. Wow
SNM |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Friday, 16th July 2004 @ 04:12:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is great... I love it
Keep writing! :) |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by WestCPunk on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 09:01:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very different and unique! Well done!
Shelbi |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by purecitrus on
Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 08:43:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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All I can say is that this is incredible!
Thank you so much!!!
Katie |
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Re: Before White came Black
(User Rating: 1 ) by remote on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 03:23:07 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, fantastic! |
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