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Unredeemed
Contributed by
Eve
on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 09:10:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Can you hear my mournful cries?
I can't hear myself anymore
I'm staring into the face of oblivion
The handle of the astral skies' door.
Reach out with your open heart again
Give to me what I never could understand
Come down to rock bottom for me
Disarm the cannon while it's still unmanned.
I'm so tired of playing these games I've taught myself
Because I'm playing them alone
This shadow has lost her person
This heart has forgotten its home.
Rain is finally at its downpour
Merciless drops of regret on my face
There is nowhere else I can go to
Can you show me love, can you express grace?
Dragged into someone else's reality
I will never call this mine
Can't see anything but hazy mirages
Nothing to lead me, no guiding sign.
Following constellations to find Polaris
Alone again under the stars
My only thought now swirls around:
The sky has never seemed so far.
Copyright ©
Eve
... [
2004-06-07 21:10:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Unredeemed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 06:18:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This has such a melancholy feel...My mind's music box has me hearing a slow, arpeggiated guitar part (in Em) as a back drop for this doleful dirge. The way you combine beauty and sadness always has drawn me to your poetry, and this is about as good as it gets.
"The sky has never seemed so far"
That is the perfect ending, such a gorgeous line.
Keep writing or have a run-in with Hannibal Lecter,
-V.S. |
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Re: Unredeemed
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 08:07:13 PM AEST
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. . .
*insert stunned silence here*
. . . wow. As a poem, it's about as close to perfect as they come . . . beautiful, poignant, heartbreaking, emotive, eloquent, painful . . . and as for the thought behind it . . . well.
Speaking as someone going through something similar enough that I can relate, relate to the point that this poem's gotten me closer to crying than any other poem ever has before, my heart goes out to you.
"I'm so tired of playing these games I've taught myself
Because I'm playing them alone"
---you capture it perfectly.
A thousand compliments to you, a thousand listening ears if ever you need one, and a thousand tears I won't be able to cry for this.
The last line was the essence of poetry.
--Nora |
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