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wish you were mine
Contributed by
holderofthestone
on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 05:01:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Its time
I say
how I
feel today
I have
hard times
with you
in mind
I cant
stand to
be so
near you
to smell
your scent
you are
heaven sent
but you
arent mine
and I
dont find
how to
get you
what things
to do
what words
to speak
to make
you weak
and fall
for me
I wish
you'd see
how in
love with
you and
your myth
I am
then you
might give
in to
my charm
and ways
poetic words
I say
to convince
and sway
your heart
my way
Copyright ©
holderofthestone
... [
2004-06-07 17:01:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: wish you were mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elena on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 05:37:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
A really interesting string of words. Fine work.
E |
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Re: wish you were mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 06:08:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really wish you the best I hope I wish that girl would just open her eyes and see how much she could have...you care so much about her...but yeah I wish you the best with her and your writing...your my favorite lol...just remember that Im your #1 fan....lol so yeah great write very powerful lots of emotion
much love,
Dani
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Re: wish you were mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 10:09:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very cool structure to your poem....
and it was gorgeous - would love to find something like this tucked into my pidgeon hole at work or something..... *swoon* |
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Re: wish you were mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 11:57:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is.... kind of transitional, I think. The inclusion of "Its time", "your myth", etc. intrigues me, holder. Oh - you may have tossed them in without thinking - but they jumped right out at me. 'Tis a lovely step forward, I think.
And... of course... you already know how I adore this format--- two words at a time. *sigh*
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Re: wish you were mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by MDodgen on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 11:21:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| wonderful write. i wish she was yours too. you could love her more then him. good job again. |
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Re: wish you were mine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th April 2006 @ 12:46:57 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| she wishes she was yours also |
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