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Spirit's Sea
Contributed by
Luinil
on
Sunday, 6th June 2004 @ 08:57:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
spiritual
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The storm has died down
Waters calmly rock you to sleep
Your ship was ripped apart
Floating on its last panel, you catch your breath
Your ship was the grandest
So many passengers banded together
Captain led you all to fight the current
Forsake your sails; break your back rowing
Many small ships pass you by
Flowing free, effortlessly in the current
Why don’t they fight as your captain once said?
Peaceful and calm they fly atop the water
Swallow your pride, captain is gone
You are alone, be your own captain
Boulders, rapids, speeding down river
River touches Sea, Sea embraces you alone
Lonely and beaten in the setting sun
You spy the shore slowly approaching
Your fellow passengers come in waves, thrashing you against the sand
No one to save you now, you are captain—save yourself
Row back out through the unrelenting sea
Let the current guide you this time
Allow your rivals to give you aid
Let the salty water push you to freedom
Copyright ©
Luinil
... [
2004-06-06 20:57:03] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Spirit's Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 6th June 2004 @ 09:21:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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fantastic job on this piece. |
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Re: Spirit's Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rhei76 on
Sunday, 6th June 2004 @ 10:35:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I thought it sounded strong, It's a good write.
Nice job. take care. |
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Re: Spirit's Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 @ 09:47:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very clever:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Spirit's Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by nauphragus on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 04:27:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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All right then, it's a metaphor, but sometimes messed up a bit. Though, I liked that you didn't bother with rhyming, it makes the poem more powerful. |
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