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The Knight
Contributed by
wachumiri
on
Thursday, 3rd June 2004 @ 10:20:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
fictional
|
In time forgotten
In elder day
There lived a knight
Afar away
A lord was he
Of noble birth
Few men as true
Have walked our earth
Of many wars
Victor was he
And never knew
His eyes defeat
He loved a lass
For fair was she
She stole his heart
Yet set it free
'Twas free to fly
Through clouds above
Or maybe march
Through lands of love
And then one day
To war he went
For many men
His foe had sent
And he fought hard
With battered blade
He felled his foe
In forest glade
He won the war
For his kind king
It seemed he slew
With every swing
But then a sword
Bit from behind
And slew the knight
So good and kind
And for the knight
An ode they wrote
Of all his deeds
And foes he smote
Copyright ©
wachumiri
... [
2004-06-03 22:20:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Thursday, 3rd June 2004 @ 10:47:50 PM AEST
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This was cool. Sad ending but nice read. Kinda short and sweet. Well done!
Thumps ; 0 ) |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Thursday, 3rd June 2004 @ 11:02:16 PM AEST
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| I wish I had time like that to kill at work... and could acutally be PAID to write AS I write! |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Thursday, 3rd June 2004 @ 11:04:21 PM AEST
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| I wish I had time like that to kill at work... and could acutally be PAID to write AS I write! |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by eatfresh22 on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 10:38:08 AM AEST
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Cute story, David. When I was first reading it, I thought the knight sounded brave and such as you....but then he died, so hopefully it's someone else. (ahem...Andrew...ahem) Just kidding! But, I liked the story. Good job!
~Carrie~ |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 08:47:52 PM AEST
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Carrie! You little rascal! (hehehe, I know, I know, you were kidding)
This is a neat poem, a simple tale. I really like your work, David.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 03:15:14 PM AEST
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*wonders why Carrie is trying to off him*
Anyway...
David, I didn't know you felt like this! I'm so sorry! Don't give up! There's always light at the end of the tunnel! Stick in there!
All right, no one esle will understand that, but ah well. I can't help it if I dwell in such a high tower... (remember Josh?)
Not a bad piece, all told.
Andrew |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 12:02:12 AM AEST
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No one understands your "esle", but I got the rest. Towers are good things. Nice towers...
David |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 02:58:20 AM AEST
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| This is a great poem, thanks David |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by lexxie on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 06:36:12 PM AEST
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beautiful poem
l3xxi3 |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 @ 03:24:31 PM AEST
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ohhhh sooo sad........ brilliantly written:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 04:46:45 PM AEST
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"She stole his heart
Yet set it free"
Lovely words. I really enjoyed reading this one. I wrote something with similar cadence, although not concerning a knight in particular.
I would have changed the ending thus;
"And for the knight
This ode they wrote"
Which in my opinion, would make it more authentic to the reader, giving it a sense of presence, i'm sure.
Keep writing. |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 02:35:33 PM AEST
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"She stole his heart
Yet set it free"
Again. I came back again to point those two lines out. I love them.
Great write.
Again. |
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 12:39:45 AM AEST
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I think this is beautifully done.
The lines are simple, but that's the charm of it...the rythm and the style are great.
Glad to have read this.
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Re: The Knight
(User Rating: 1 )
by anitajames on
Saturday, 24th September 2005 @ 02:43:41 PM AEST
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This is great. It reminds me of some of the poetry I read in college. Can't remember the author, but I know he was really good.
Ann |
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